Friday, November 12, 2010
Updated life update
Well, we had court. The attorneys decided there wasn't enough good evidence to terminate rights, so they are going to reunify Baby with her bio dad. So, while things could change, as of right now we aren't keeping Baby. See why I was CAUTIOUSLY super-excited? Things sometimes change hourly in the foster care business. Am I disappointed? Extremely. Surprised? Not especially. Sad? Very. Have I lost all hope? No way. Am I willing to accept whatever happens? With as much grace as I can. At the end of the day, God is in charge. Everything doesn't always work out how I think it should (lately very little has worked out how I think it should), but it always works out how God knows it should. My trials aren't nearly as bad as Job's, and he weathered his trials and was blessed in the end. I just hope I can handle my trials as well as him.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Life update
Jack and Pie went back to their bio dad the end of July. I knew a few weeks in advance that they were leaving, so I was able to go through the grieving process and get to a place of peace. I still have Baby (she has a different bio dad than Jack and Pie), so I was happily going along with my life and then bio mom got out of jail. Not a huge deal, but now I had to take Baby to visits with her. Jack and Pie also had visits with her at the same time. I hadn't seen them for three weeks, and the first visit I stayed in the visit room with them (since they all knew me, but didn't know her; it helped them to transition). Jack insisted on sitting on my lap the whole time, holding my hand and touching my face. Pie insisted on showing me how mad she was at me for abandoning her, and ignored me the whole time. So sad.
Seeing them started the grieving process all over again. Except it has taken longer than before. I get okay with things, and then see them again. Every week. It helps a little that I can see they are happy with their dad, and that they all are doing well. It also helps that their mom is not really in the picture (except these weekly visits for now), because then I know they will be really cared for and kept safe. I am starting to get to the acceptance phase of grief again. I think.
As hard as it has been for me to let them go, I wouldn't have traded the experience of being their mom. I got to have two beautiful girls in my family for almost a year. And, because I had them, I also was able to get Baby. What a blessing.
A couple of months ago, I knew that Baby was going to be going to her bio dad. I think he's a nice enough guy, but still. I've had her since she was born. She's my baby. But anyway, that's what you sign up to do as foster parents (masochistic, I know). I was preparing myself to let her go. The plan was that she would transition back to him sometime around October or November.
That has since changed. The case worker is now going to ask to terminate parental rights and change the plan to adoption. I am cautiously super-excited about the prospect of adopting Baby: super-excited because I would love nothing more than to adopt her; cautious because until the judge finalizes it, nothing is truly certain.
One more thing in addition to the whole system makes the adoption uncertain. I am moving out of state in December. You may wonder, why not just wait until everything is finalized? Long story. Sure you want to keep reading?
THE BACK STORY:
Many years ago (okay, more like 5,6,7? can't remember exactly) my husband embarked on an exciting adventure called self-employment. He had studied hard and prepared a lot so he could be a successful businessman. We also acquired some debt in order to finance many work-related things such as ongoing training and a professional office. We were not concerned though, nope. We had Savings and a Bright Future. We were going to live off of our savings until the day in the not-too-distant future when we would be Unbelievably Rich and do Good Things with our wealth. Hubby worked very hard and continued studying and got some clients. Sometimes things went well, and sometimes things fell through. But it was okay, because even though we weren't earning as much as we had expected to, we were going to keep working hard and Stick With It.
Finally after many years of Sticking With It, we had no more money. We stuck it out as long as we could, and a little longer, and then a little longer, then decided that maybe Hubby should get a job to help pay the bills while still trying to build his business. Hubby searched high and low for any job that wasn't McDonald's (he is, by the way, a very hard-working, honest, friendly, intelligent, and handsome man. He is also very much a "people person" and interviews very well.) So imagine our surprise when many months went by with no job offers except as a telemarketer. Grateful for anything, he accepted and began working at his New Employment where he was loved and appreciated by the managers. A little while later, he was also hired on at a medical equipment factory where he got to finally put all his skills and education to use making... plastic bags.
This Terribly Exciting work was better than nothing, but we were still not making enough to cover the bills every month without digging into our credit. Our savings was long gone, and we had been living off our home equity. Our business debt was on a SBA loan and a few credit cards. Through all the years, we had been faithfully paying all of our bills, and on time, but for some reason the credit card companies upped our APR and our minimum payments significantly. This was the reason we were sliding deeper into debt. We would have made enough to at least get by month to month if our payments hadn't skyrocketed. (Our debt really was mostly business debt and a small mortgage. We were very frugal with our personal finances. We even moved out of our home and rented it out -it wasn't selling- and rented a dumpy duplex to cut costs.)
Hubby's job obviously was not enough, so he continued to look for other options. He tried a MLM and a couple other sales jobs too. We finally decided to kill his business, and closed down his office. Then Hubby got hired on at a new start-up company with promise of a great salary and commissions. We could also move to another state near my parents and siblings.
Just before getting hired to this new job, we had Jack and Pie placed with us. Hubby trained for his new job for a few months while living here, and then, in January of this year, he moved to the other state to start his job. I stayed behind in the hopes that everything would soon be resolved with Jack and Pie. If they were to become available for adoption, we wanted to have the option to do that. Even if not, we didn't want to just pass them on to someone else. Also, we were now waiting for our house to sell. I was going to stick it out here for a few months while Hubby got his work stuff going there and figured out where we were going to live.
A couple of months later, Baby came. It sounded pretty certain that she was going to be almost immediately available to be adopted, so we certainly didn't want to pass that up. Especially because it looked possible that we would be able to adopt Jack and Pie, but it could still be a little longer.
Hubby's new job was with a great company, but they weren't growing as quickly as they had hoped. They decided not to do salaries anymore. Commissions were not very high, and although they had a great product, the technology was new enough that it was not an easy sell. Hubby was the top salesman, but we were still not making enough to get by, so he started looking for yet another job.
I am happy to say that he did get a new job. At a BANK. With a SALARY. In the Other State. In June. We also finally decided, very reluctantly, to declare bankruptcy, because even with the salary it wouldn't have been enough to cover the debt. So now I don't have to remind myself to breathe when I think about money. I can actually buy food instead of just living off our food storage and our garden. It is wonderful. However, I am still here, and he is still there.
So, for the reason I am not waiting to move: After being apart for nearly a year, Hubby and I have decided that we need to stop waiting for the courts. It could keep dragging out (this latest court has already been postponed twice). My son was in foster care for 22 months before we were finally able to adopt him. And we can't keep our family apart indefinitely any longer. So we set a date, bought Hubby a plane ticket, and reserved a rental truck. We will be here one more month and then we are moving. It is possible that everything could be resolved with Baby by December and we can adopt her then. IF both parents voluntarily relinquish their rights when we go to court next week. If not, we will have to wait for a pretrial, then a termination hearing and then after an appeal period an adoption hearing (should it actually go in that direction.) So, we are praying for parents to relinquish, because otherwise we would have to leave Baby with another foster family, and hope it doesn't drag out so long that she is more bonded to them than to us so they get to adopt her instead. It completely breaks my heart to think of leaving her. I mean, I don't really cry that much in general, but I cry plenty over her. However, as much I am willing to stay here, my husband needs us and we need him, and I have to go.
And that is my really long sob story (and happy story too, because we do get to be with my husband again AND move out of the cold place where winters are long, to the warm place where winters are mild).
not really THE END (especially the way the court system goes 'round here)
Seeing them started the grieving process all over again. Except it has taken longer than before. I get okay with things, and then see them again. Every week. It helps a little that I can see they are happy with their dad, and that they all are doing well. It also helps that their mom is not really in the picture (except these weekly visits for now), because then I know they will be really cared for and kept safe. I am starting to get to the acceptance phase of grief again. I think.
As hard as it has been for me to let them go, I wouldn't have traded the experience of being their mom. I got to have two beautiful girls in my family for almost a year. And, because I had them, I also was able to get Baby. What a blessing.
A couple of months ago, I knew that Baby was going to be going to her bio dad. I think he's a nice enough guy, but still. I've had her since she was born. She's my baby. But anyway, that's what you sign up to do as foster parents (masochistic, I know). I was preparing myself to let her go. The plan was that she would transition back to him sometime around October or November.
That has since changed. The case worker is now going to ask to terminate parental rights and change the plan to adoption. I am cautiously super-excited about the prospect of adopting Baby: super-excited because I would love nothing more than to adopt her; cautious because until the judge finalizes it, nothing is truly certain.
One more thing in addition to the whole system makes the adoption uncertain. I am moving out of state in December. You may wonder, why not just wait until everything is finalized? Long story. Sure you want to keep reading?
THE BACK STORY:
Many years ago (okay, more like 5,6,7? can't remember exactly) my husband embarked on an exciting adventure called self-employment. He had studied hard and prepared a lot so he could be a successful businessman. We also acquired some debt in order to finance many work-related things such as ongoing training and a professional office. We were not concerned though, nope. We had Savings and a Bright Future. We were going to live off of our savings until the day in the not-too-distant future when we would be Unbelievably Rich and do Good Things with our wealth. Hubby worked very hard and continued studying and got some clients. Sometimes things went well, and sometimes things fell through. But it was okay, because even though we weren't earning as much as we had expected to, we were going to keep working hard and Stick With It.
Finally after many years of Sticking With It, we had no more money. We stuck it out as long as we could, and a little longer, and then a little longer, then decided that maybe Hubby should get a job to help pay the bills while still trying to build his business. Hubby searched high and low for any job that wasn't McDonald's (he is, by the way, a very hard-working, honest, friendly, intelligent, and handsome man. He is also very much a "people person" and interviews very well.) So imagine our surprise when many months went by with no job offers except as a telemarketer. Grateful for anything, he accepted and began working at his New Employment where he was loved and appreciated by the managers. A little while later, he was also hired on at a medical equipment factory where he got to finally put all his skills and education to use making... plastic bags.
This Terribly Exciting work was better than nothing, but we were still not making enough to cover the bills every month without digging into our credit. Our savings was long gone, and we had been living off our home equity. Our business debt was on a SBA loan and a few credit cards. Through all the years, we had been faithfully paying all of our bills, and on time, but for some reason the credit card companies upped our APR and our minimum payments significantly. This was the reason we were sliding deeper into debt. We would have made enough to at least get by month to month if our payments hadn't skyrocketed. (Our debt really was mostly business debt and a small mortgage. We were very frugal with our personal finances. We even moved out of our home and rented it out -it wasn't selling- and rented a dumpy duplex to cut costs.)
Hubby's job obviously was not enough, so he continued to look for other options. He tried a MLM and a couple other sales jobs too. We finally decided to kill his business, and closed down his office. Then Hubby got hired on at a new start-up company with promise of a great salary and commissions. We could also move to another state near my parents and siblings.
Just before getting hired to this new job, we had Jack and Pie placed with us. Hubby trained for his new job for a few months while living here, and then, in January of this year, he moved to the other state to start his job. I stayed behind in the hopes that everything would soon be resolved with Jack and Pie. If they were to become available for adoption, we wanted to have the option to do that. Even if not, we didn't want to just pass them on to someone else. Also, we were now waiting for our house to sell. I was going to stick it out here for a few months while Hubby got his work stuff going there and figured out where we were going to live.
A couple of months later, Baby came. It sounded pretty certain that she was going to be almost immediately available to be adopted, so we certainly didn't want to pass that up. Especially because it looked possible that we would be able to adopt Jack and Pie, but it could still be a little longer.
Hubby's new job was with a great company, but they weren't growing as quickly as they had hoped. They decided not to do salaries anymore. Commissions were not very high, and although they had a great product, the technology was new enough that it was not an easy sell. Hubby was the top salesman, but we were still not making enough to get by, so he started looking for yet another job.
I am happy to say that he did get a new job. At a BANK. With a SALARY. In the Other State. In June. We also finally decided, very reluctantly, to declare bankruptcy, because even with the salary it wouldn't have been enough to cover the debt. So now I don't have to remind myself to breathe when I think about money. I can actually buy food instead of just living off our food storage and our garden. It is wonderful. However, I am still here, and he is still there.
So, for the reason I am not waiting to move: After being apart for nearly a year, Hubby and I have decided that we need to stop waiting for the courts. It could keep dragging out (this latest court has already been postponed twice). My son was in foster care for 22 months before we were finally able to adopt him. And we can't keep our family apart indefinitely any longer. So we set a date, bought Hubby a plane ticket, and reserved a rental truck. We will be here one more month and then we are moving. It is possible that everything could be resolved with Baby by December and we can adopt her then. IF both parents voluntarily relinquish their rights when we go to court next week. If not, we will have to wait for a pretrial, then a termination hearing and then after an appeal period an adoption hearing (should it actually go in that direction.) So, we are praying for parents to relinquish, because otherwise we would have to leave Baby with another foster family, and hope it doesn't drag out so long that she is more bonded to them than to us so they get to adopt her instead. It completely breaks my heart to think of leaving her. I mean, I don't really cry that much in general, but I cry plenty over her. However, as much I am willing to stay here, my husband needs us and we need him, and I have to go.
And that is my really long sob story (and happy story too, because we do get to be with my husband again AND move out of the cold place where winters are long, to the warm place where winters are mild).
not really THE END (especially the way the court system goes 'round here)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Free Markets: Good or Evil?
I used to think that things were black and white as follows: communism/socialism is evil, capitalism/free markets are good. I still think communism/socialism is evil, although I can see what appeals to people about them, and why good people are attracted to them (Read Wild Swans by Jung Chang for some good food for thought on that one). I'm just not so sure that capitalism/free markets (will refer to as "free markets" in the future) as they are known today are so great.
Let me clarify. I think that if people have high moral values, pure, unregulated free markets work wonderfully. It is just like this quote on government by James Madison, "What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary." If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on businesses would be necessary; however greed and powerlust come into play. The almighty dollar (really funny money anyway; why does it have such a hold on us?) comes before our fellow-man, preserving beauty, quality in craftsmanship, creating true value, being wise stewards. When we care more about making money than about these things, that is when free markets start to lose their appeal.
I've read lots of books that have influenced my thinking about these matters. Henry Hazlitt, Frederic Bastiat and Ludwig von Mises are some of the great writers who have helped me see the wonders and benefits of free markets. But I've also seen documentaries and read some books, Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein being one of them, that have helped me to see that when a business gets too big, and gets too much power, there can be huge problems with that. Read the book and watch some of my recommended documentaries, and you might see what I mean.
HOWEVER, I don't really believe that when a business gets that big with that much power (so much influence on foreign and domestic policy, for example) that they are working within a TRUE free market, because they now have powerful interests watching their backs and hampering the competition. Therefore, I believe those particular businesses or industries need to be reigned in. But I don't think that they will be reigned in by the powers-that-be, because the powers-that-be have too much of a vested interest in the industries.
I have always, in the past, been against regulations and rules. There are way too many of them. Read The Death of Common Sense: How Law is Suffocating America by Phillip K. Howard for an interesting read about that. I think that The Death of Common Sense is an appropriate title for our time. We have too many prohibitive rules that make it hard for the little guy, and we let the businesses that profit from warmongering, polluting, and generally causing grief and suffering slip through the loopholes.
What can we do? Obviously most of these businesses won't self-regulate, and our elected (and unelected) officials aren't stopping things. So it is up to us, the little people, to educate ourselves, make more conscientious choices about who we elect and who we support, and speak up without being ashamed. I know, easier said than done. We need to be open to learning the truth, wherever it comes from. Black and white really have many shades, and just because I believe A and you believe B doesn't mean I am all right and all good, and you are all wrong and all bad. Yes, there are absolute truths. But not everything has only one answer.
Summary to all this rambling: If men were angels, free (unregulated) markets would work the best. Because men are not all angels, some (not ridiculous and excessive) regulation is necessary. Also, the little people need to do what we can. Working together, we can make changes.
Other summary to all this rambling: We need to start seeing where we agree, and work from there. Be open to seeing why someone has the viewpoint that they do. This was brought home to me last night when I was watching Why we Fight. In the special features, the director talks about how he had been in red states and blue states (showing his movie), and then interrupted himself to talk about how red and blue are just a way to divide us; how our country is really more purple. If we can be kept focusing on our differences, then we are distracted from working together on important things.
One other somewhat related thought. When you read these books, or watch these movies, you may despair, thinking there is no hope; there is too much corruption, everyone is bad. I think it is the opposite. I think there is a lot of corruption and evil, but I think most people are basically good. Not perfect, but most want to do good things. I think we all contribute in some way to the bad that is going on; not through evil intent, but through ignorance. The more aware we are, the more we are able to fight the evil. It is not a hopeless fight, because if most of us want to do good, then we will do good once we are aware. So we need to spread awareness. Not in a militant way, but in a loving way. My journey to the awareness I have come to has not happened all at once. Just ten years ago I would have ardently opposed some of my current views, but most of my current views are about things I was generally ignorant of even ten years ago (what will the next ten years bring? What an exciting thought!). You never know who is ready to be open to learning more (or when...sometimes it is years after something is suggested to me before I am ready to dig into it), so educate yourself, and take other people along for the ride. And remember, it is a ride. We don't ARRIVE all at once. We just reach scenic views along the way. Enjoy!
Let me clarify. I think that if people have high moral values, pure, unregulated free markets work wonderfully. It is just like this quote on government by James Madison, "What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary." If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on businesses would be necessary; however greed and powerlust come into play. The almighty dollar (really funny money anyway; why does it have such a hold on us?) comes before our fellow-man, preserving beauty, quality in craftsmanship, creating true value, being wise stewards. When we care more about making money than about these things, that is when free markets start to lose their appeal.
I've read lots of books that have influenced my thinking about these matters. Henry Hazlitt, Frederic Bastiat and Ludwig von Mises are some of the great writers who have helped me see the wonders and benefits of free markets. But I've also seen documentaries and read some books, Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein being one of them, that have helped me to see that when a business gets too big, and gets too much power, there can be huge problems with that. Read the book and watch some of my recommended documentaries, and you might see what I mean.
HOWEVER, I don't really believe that when a business gets that big with that much power (so much influence on foreign and domestic policy, for example) that they are working within a TRUE free market, because they now have powerful interests watching their backs and hampering the competition. Therefore, I believe those particular businesses or industries need to be reigned in. But I don't think that they will be reigned in by the powers-that-be, because the powers-that-be have too much of a vested interest in the industries.
I have always, in the past, been against regulations and rules. There are way too many of them. Read The Death of Common Sense: How Law is Suffocating America by Phillip K. Howard for an interesting read about that. I think that The Death of Common Sense is an appropriate title for our time. We have too many prohibitive rules that make it hard for the little guy, and we let the businesses that profit from warmongering, polluting, and generally causing grief and suffering slip through the loopholes.
What can we do? Obviously most of these businesses won't self-regulate, and our elected (and unelected) officials aren't stopping things. So it is up to us, the little people, to educate ourselves, make more conscientious choices about who we elect and who we support, and speak up without being ashamed. I know, easier said than done. We need to be open to learning the truth, wherever it comes from. Black and white really have many shades, and just because I believe A and you believe B doesn't mean I am all right and all good, and you are all wrong and all bad. Yes, there are absolute truths. But not everything has only one answer.
Summary to all this rambling: If men were angels, free (unregulated) markets would work the best. Because men are not all angels, some (not ridiculous and excessive) regulation is necessary. Also, the little people need to do what we can. Working together, we can make changes.
Other summary to all this rambling: We need to start seeing where we agree, and work from there. Be open to seeing why someone has the viewpoint that they do. This was brought home to me last night when I was watching Why we Fight. In the special features, the director talks about how he had been in red states and blue states (showing his movie), and then interrupted himself to talk about how red and blue are just a way to divide us; how our country is really more purple. If we can be kept focusing on our differences, then we are distracted from working together on important things.
One other somewhat related thought. When you read these books, or watch these movies, you may despair, thinking there is no hope; there is too much corruption, everyone is bad. I think it is the opposite. I think there is a lot of corruption and evil, but I think most people are basically good. Not perfect, but most want to do good things. I think we all contribute in some way to the bad that is going on; not through evil intent, but through ignorance. The more aware we are, the more we are able to fight the evil. It is not a hopeless fight, because if most of us want to do good, then we will do good once we are aware. So we need to spread awareness. Not in a militant way, but in a loving way. My journey to the awareness I have come to has not happened all at once. Just ten years ago I would have ardently opposed some of my current views, but most of my current views are about things I was generally ignorant of even ten years ago (what will the next ten years bring? What an exciting thought!). You never know who is ready to be open to learning more (or when...sometimes it is years after something is suggested to me before I am ready to dig into it), so educate yourself, and take other people along for the ride. And remember, it is a ride. We don't ARRIVE all at once. We just reach scenic views along the way. Enjoy!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Books about Tudors
So, I read The Other Boleyn Girl on an acquaintance's recommendation. I am the type of person who can hardly put a book down once I have started it. I was fascinated by the story and I would have given it a glowing recommendation, but there was way too much adult-type content, which I really don't appreciate. So, I would tell other people to not read it.
Rather, I would recommend reading Carolyn Meyer's books: Doomed Queen Anne, Mary, Bloody Mary, and Beware, Princess Elizabeth. They are much, much milder. I wouldn't have very young children read them though, unless you are prepared to have discussions about illegitimacy, mistresses, divorce, murder, affairs, executions, etc. Not the friendliest of topics. There is also some language (mostly related to mistresses and illegitimate children). Although, if you have a child that is older, there could be some very good discussions about choices and consequences, love and marriage, desire for power, etc.
So, because I read The Other Boleyn Girl, it got me interested in learning more about that period of history. So I read the Carolyn Meyer books, and I am planning on reading the Shakespeare play about King Henry VIII (I think there is one?), and whatever else I can find. We'll see how it goes.
Rather, I would recommend reading Carolyn Meyer's books: Doomed Queen Anne, Mary, Bloody Mary, and Beware, Princess Elizabeth. They are much, much milder. I wouldn't have very young children read them though, unless you are prepared to have discussions about illegitimacy, mistresses, divorce, murder, affairs, executions, etc. Not the friendliest of topics. There is also some language (mostly related to mistresses and illegitimate children). Although, if you have a child that is older, there could be some very good discussions about choices and consequences, love and marriage, desire for power, etc.
So, because I read The Other Boleyn Girl, it got me interested in learning more about that period of history. So I read the Carolyn Meyer books, and I am planning on reading the Shakespeare play about King Henry VIII (I think there is one?), and whatever else I can find. We'll see how it goes.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Diapering and Elimination Communication
I thought I would give an update on how EC is going for me so far. I have found that unless I am super vigilant I still miss a bunch of pees. Some days I do better than others. I've had days of only getting a couple of pees (those are usually the days that I am not holding her as much or paying as much attention). I've had days of catching 90% of her pee. I have found that when I take her to pee, if she doesn't go within a minute or two, she is usually not ready. That's nice to know so I don't waste a lot of time trying to catch it. She will often pee right after I cue her. I still go through a lot of diapers; mostly because I am more aware of when she is wet (because I take her to the bathroom and she is already wet - sometimes she will still go again.) The thing I am most excited about is that I have caught (when I say caught, I mean "cued her and she went in the toilet") all but two poos! Only two poopy diapers in this whole time (threeish weeks)! It is worth doing it for that right there. Usually if she is acting fussy and I can't figure out why, she has some poo that needs to come out. Sometimes it takes a few tries before she is ready to get it out, but it generally fixes the fussiness. I really feel that she prefers eliminating outside of her diaper. Sometimes she has to squirm for a while before I clue in, and then as soon as I give her the cue she lets a ton out. Check out this site about EC.
Now, because I am still going through quite a few diapers, I wanted to get some cloth that would fit her. I don't like the expense, waste, or possible health issues arising from using disposables. Like I mentioned earlier, I have some diapers - even one-size-fits-all diapers, but on Baby's 7 lb 10 oz frame, they are just too huge. I wanted something that would work for her now; but since I don't know how long she'll be this little, and I don't know whether or not I'll ever have other babies this size, I didn't want to spend too much money.
Options for covers:
1. Vinyl. Yes, you can still buy these. They aren't really breathable. You also have to pull them on and off, which can be a pain sometimes. I think there are better options out there.
2. Wool soakers. Sometimes called "longies" for pant length or "shorties" for regular diaper cover length. When you see the "rise" measurement, that should be the measurement from the top of the front, under the crotch, and up to the top of the back. If the rise is too low it won't cover the diaper. I have tried a few different wool soakers, and so far (in general) I like the ones that are more expensive over the hand knitted ones (although I do like to use those too, they just don't work as well for heavy wetters). The expensive ones seem to be felted and thicker, which would make them more absorbent. I like to use my "longies" as pants (pajama or daytime) on top of all my other diaper stuff as an added layer of protection. My two biggest issues with wool are that 1) they take forever to dry (of course, that means they are absorbent, but I couldn't just get by with a couple)! and 2) they seem to have a stinky woolly odor when they get wet (maybe it's something I'm doing wrong?). Also, they can leak...even the heavy duty ones. You also have to lanolinize them and you are supposed to hand wash them (although I admit to throwing them in the washer on a gentle cycle from time to time.)
3. Polyurethane laminate a.k.a. PUL. This is a waterproof material that is usually on the inside of a cover or sandwiched in the middle of other fabrics, usually some sort of polyester. There are a ton of different brands out there that make PUL covers. I have used Mother-ease (which I loved and thought they were the best, but then I started getting some leaking from the seams - of course that is after using them for 9+ years :)) I still use them for Jack and Pie, and I am still pretty happy with them. I have not had any "blow out" problems with my Mother-ease. For Baby I decided to try Bummis Super Snap. I've been reading so many good reviews about Bummis products, and I thought that this may be my only excuse to try one. I should have bought a newborn size, but being the frugal person I am, I figured Baby is so close to fitting in a small, that I would make do with that. It fits great around her waist, but the leg openings are a little big for her. I only bought one, and that has been enough for now, but if I buy another one, I'll probably try getting a newborn size. Although, with my doing EC, too big of leg openings shouldn't be much of a problem. I was even considering not getting a cover so I could be even more aware of when Baby wets, but then I decided to do prefolds so I kinda needed a cover.
Covers can come in three types: pull on, hook and loop (also known as velcro or aplix), or snap. Here is my opinion on the three.
Pull on: The biggest advantage is that you don't have to worry about snaps or velcro digging into baby. Wool covers are usually pretty nice for this reason. However, you can't adjust the openings. Of course the other types may not adjust big enough or small enough either, but there is usually some room for adjustment. My biggest problem with pull on covers is that when you try to pull it off, sometimes the diaper comes with it. If there is poop in there, that could be a problem. Also, if you need to change the cover for some reason, you can't just lower the pants and whip it off. If the child is wearing pants and shoes you have to take it all off.
Hook and Loop: The plus side is that they are easy to put on, so if you are half asleep and it is dark, it is not a struggle. They are also usually pretty adjustable. The disadvantages outweigh the advantages, in my opinion. Velcro can wear out (I have some diapers that will hardly stay on anymore because the velcro won't hold), it can scratch baby's skin (some covers are better than others about how they put on their velcro, but I had one velcro cover... can't remember the brand... with Louie that had a sharpish edge and a big tab that rubbed all over her poor fat belly.), and even with the washing tabs to keep velcro secured during washing, can snag (which seems to wear the diapers out faster). It is a pain to have to be picking lint and strings and hairs out of the velcro.
Snaps: They aren't as fast to slap on as velcro (and I guess if you want to adjust it to something between the snaps you are out of luck). If you have it on too tight, the snaps could dig into baby's skin. Snap covers are usually pretty adjustable, pretty sturdy, you don't have as many seams to worry about moisture wicking, and you don't have the disadvantages of velcro. If I had to choose only one of the three, snaps would be it. Velcro would be out.
One thing that it took me a while to figure out is that any cover WILL leak if you have the diaper poking out of it at all. I know, duh!
Okay, it's super late. I'll finish the thoughts on diapers at a later time.
Now, because I am still going through quite a few diapers, I wanted to get some cloth that would fit her. I don't like the expense, waste, or possible health issues arising from using disposables. Like I mentioned earlier, I have some diapers - even one-size-fits-all diapers, but on Baby's 7 lb 10 oz frame, they are just too huge. I wanted something that would work for her now; but since I don't know how long she'll be this little, and I don't know whether or not I'll ever have other babies this size, I didn't want to spend too much money.
Options for covers:
1. Vinyl. Yes, you can still buy these. They aren't really breathable. You also have to pull them on and off, which can be a pain sometimes. I think there are better options out there.
2. Wool soakers. Sometimes called "longies" for pant length or "shorties" for regular diaper cover length. When you see the "rise" measurement, that should be the measurement from the top of the front, under the crotch, and up to the top of the back. If the rise is too low it won't cover the diaper. I have tried a few different wool soakers, and so far (in general) I like the ones that are more expensive over the hand knitted ones (although I do like to use those too, they just don't work as well for heavy wetters). The expensive ones seem to be felted and thicker, which would make them more absorbent. I like to use my "longies" as pants (pajama or daytime) on top of all my other diaper stuff as an added layer of protection. My two biggest issues with wool are that 1) they take forever to dry (of course, that means they are absorbent, but I couldn't just get by with a couple)! and 2) they seem to have a stinky woolly odor when they get wet (maybe it's something I'm doing wrong?). Also, they can leak...even the heavy duty ones. You also have to lanolinize them and you are supposed to hand wash them (although I admit to throwing them in the washer on a gentle cycle from time to time.)
3. Polyurethane laminate a.k.a. PUL. This is a waterproof material that is usually on the inside of a cover or sandwiched in the middle of other fabrics, usually some sort of polyester. There are a ton of different brands out there that make PUL covers. I have used Mother-ease (which I loved and thought they were the best, but then I started getting some leaking from the seams - of course that is after using them for 9+ years :)) I still use them for Jack and Pie, and I am still pretty happy with them. I have not had any "blow out" problems with my Mother-ease. For Baby I decided to try Bummis Super Snap. I've been reading so many good reviews about Bummis products, and I thought that this may be my only excuse to try one. I should have bought a newborn size, but being the frugal person I am, I figured Baby is so close to fitting in a small, that I would make do with that. It fits great around her waist, but the leg openings are a little big for her. I only bought one, and that has been enough for now, but if I buy another one, I'll probably try getting a newborn size. Although, with my doing EC, too big of leg openings shouldn't be much of a problem. I was even considering not getting a cover so I could be even more aware of when Baby wets, but then I decided to do prefolds so I kinda needed a cover.
Covers can come in three types: pull on, hook and loop (also known as velcro or aplix), or snap. Here is my opinion on the three.
Pull on: The biggest advantage is that you don't have to worry about snaps or velcro digging into baby. Wool covers are usually pretty nice for this reason. However, you can't adjust the openings. Of course the other types may not adjust big enough or small enough either, but there is usually some room for adjustment. My biggest problem with pull on covers is that when you try to pull it off, sometimes the diaper comes with it. If there is poop in there, that could be a problem. Also, if you need to change the cover for some reason, you can't just lower the pants and whip it off. If the child is wearing pants and shoes you have to take it all off.
Hook and Loop: The plus side is that they are easy to put on, so if you are half asleep and it is dark, it is not a struggle. They are also usually pretty adjustable. The disadvantages outweigh the advantages, in my opinion. Velcro can wear out (I have some diapers that will hardly stay on anymore because the velcro won't hold), it can scratch baby's skin (some covers are better than others about how they put on their velcro, but I had one velcro cover... can't remember the brand... with Louie that had a sharpish edge and a big tab that rubbed all over her poor fat belly.), and even with the washing tabs to keep velcro secured during washing, can snag (which seems to wear the diapers out faster). It is a pain to have to be picking lint and strings and hairs out of the velcro.
Snaps: They aren't as fast to slap on as velcro (and I guess if you want to adjust it to something between the snaps you are out of luck). If you have it on too tight, the snaps could dig into baby's skin. Snap covers are usually pretty adjustable, pretty sturdy, you don't have as many seams to worry about moisture wicking, and you don't have the disadvantages of velcro. If I had to choose only one of the three, snaps would be it. Velcro would be out.
One thing that it took me a while to figure out is that any cover WILL leak if you have the diaper poking out of it at all. I know, duh!
Okay, it's super late. I'll finish the thoughts on diapers at a later time.
Friday, May 14, 2010
I guess I'm not the only one...
...who thought my Senator has done some super dumb voting. I think it is interesting how he seems to think that he was ousted just because the people were "mad at Washington." (How arrogant! We couldn't possibly have been making an educated decision?) I am frustrated with Washington in general, however I am also frustrated with this particular Senator (both of my senators, actually). I wouldn't vote against my current Representative because I have been pleased with his voting most of the time.
I may not understand everything, and I may not be completely informed about every current event. I even have quite a few areas where I don't feel as though I have enough information to form an opinion. But I have been trying to study economics and government (and nutrition and education and...) for the last few years (in my spare time or in the late hours of the night). I have been trying to read a variety of both classic and modern writers and even some writings I disagreed with (i.e. The Communist Manifesto, which I found to be very interesting, by the way.) So, although I don't understand every issue, I feel like I am well enough informed about various principles that I can understand generally where we should be heading and what kinds of laws get us there, and what kinds of laws move us in the other direction.
That is why I am glad to have this Senator out. He has not been voting in a way that I believe will lead our country in a good direction. He may be a very nice guy in his private life. He may even be nice in his public life. But he is not good for our country. Way to go, Utah! Hopefully we make a good decision in our next pick. In my *very limited* study of the Republican candidates so far, I think I like Mike Lee. He sounds like he is very familiar and friendly with the Constitution. I haven't taken the time to study the candidates from the other parties yet.
Obviously I am a Utah Republican, right? Well, sort of. My parents were registered as Republicans and so I did the same when I was old enough to register. I am still registered as a Republican, but mostly so I can have a say in the Primaries (since in Utah, the Republican candidate will win). Yes, I am a Mormon. NO WAY did I vote for Mitt Romney. I actually voted for Ron Paul in the Primaries and then the Constitution Party candidate in the General Election. I have even actually been known to vote for a Democrat in my time (I'm happy to vote on the person who I feel is best for the job rather than just straight any party.). I like what Joel Salatin calls himself in his book Holy Cows and Hog Heaven: the food buyers guide to farm friendly food. He calls himself a Christian libertarian environmentalist capitalist. I would add Constitutionalist to my title and would feel like that sums it up nicely.
END POLITICAL RANT. DIM LIGHTS.
I may not understand everything, and I may not be completely informed about every current event. I even have quite a few areas where I don't feel as though I have enough information to form an opinion. But I have been trying to study economics and government (and nutrition and education and...) for the last few years (in my spare time or in the late hours of the night). I have been trying to read a variety of both classic and modern writers and even some writings I disagreed with (i.e. The Communist Manifesto, which I found to be very interesting, by the way.) So, although I don't understand every issue, I feel like I am well enough informed about various principles that I can understand generally where we should be heading and what kinds of laws get us there, and what kinds of laws move us in the other direction.
That is why I am glad to have this Senator out. He has not been voting in a way that I believe will lead our country in a good direction. He may be a very nice guy in his private life. He may even be nice in his public life. But he is not good for our country. Way to go, Utah! Hopefully we make a good decision in our next pick. In my *very limited* study of the Republican candidates so far, I think I like Mike Lee. He sounds like he is very familiar and friendly with the Constitution. I haven't taken the time to study the candidates from the other parties yet.
Obviously I am a Utah Republican, right? Well, sort of. My parents were registered as Republicans and so I did the same when I was old enough to register. I am still registered as a Republican, but mostly so I can have a say in the Primaries (since in Utah, the Republican candidate will win). Yes, I am a Mormon. NO WAY did I vote for Mitt Romney. I actually voted for Ron Paul in the Primaries and then the Constitution Party candidate in the General Election. I have even actually been known to vote for a Democrat in my time (I'm happy to vote on the person who I feel is best for the job rather than just straight any party.). I like what Joel Salatin calls himself in his book Holy Cows and Hog Heaven: the food buyers guide to farm friendly food. He calls himself a Christian libertarian environmentalist capitalist. I would add Constitutionalist to my title and would feel like that sums it up nicely.
END POLITICAL RANT. DIM LIGHTS.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Baby related subjects: Babywearing and Elimination Communication
First of all: Babywearing.
With Louie, I hadn't heard of the term "babywearing." I did have quite a bit of time before we got her to research different products, and I bought a Graco front carrier and a Baby Bjorn front carrier. Didn't like the Graco one; gave it away. We liked the Baby Bjorn pretty well, although my shoulders and back got tired after a while. It was pretty good for going on walks, etc., but not great for around the house, as I still felt like I needed a hand on her whenever I leaned over. It's hard to do things around the house one-handed.
We didn't have any more babies around for a while, and I started feeling like I may as well share my baby things with my sisters who were beginning their baby-bearing. Who knew if I would ever get another baby small enough for a carrier again anyway, and if I did, they could lend stuff back, right? So, my Baby Bjorn went to my sister.
A while later, I started doing foster care and got a 6 month old. My sisters didn't live very close by, and so after a certain day of carrying this baby around, I decided it would be worth it to get another Baby Bjorn NOW instead of waiting to get mine back. So I went to BabiesRUs and bought a Baby Bjorn that had back support. I liked it MUCH better, because my back didn't get so tired, but I still had the other problems.
I have only had one other baby (4 months old) since that time until now, and that only for a month, so I hadn't felt the need to expand my options. So when I got this brand new baby, it was time to babywear again. I wanted to wear her more than I had worn my other babies, because I had heard how good it was to do. Also, she liked to be held a lot, and it is not easy to hold a baby and run a house.
I tried Baby in the Baby Bjorn, and it felt like she was trying to straddle a horse. That wouldn't work! My friend had made a ring sling for my sister, who passed it on to me. I liked it much better. My shoulders and back weren't as tired (although she is much smaller than Louie and my other babies were, so that could be why). She could just lay in there and sleep (although try sitting in church with a baby laying across your lap and not have your two toddlers sit on her head! Not easy.) However, I still felt the need keep a hand on her when I leaned over, and she was always down by my elbows, so I kept bonking her when I tried to do anything. Also, I had started to hear of babies suffocating in slings, so I was a little paranoid. So, again, the sling was good for walking or sitting around, but not so great for getting things done around the house.
A girl at church had a wrap that she had her baby in, and I thought it looked really nice to use, so I talked to her about it, and she said it had been made by a friend, and gave me an idea of how to make one and how to use it. I also looked online and found a website that showed me how. My friend's wrap was made out of that fabric that is wrinkled that used to be popular for the skirts in a bag (I am totally uneducated about fabrics, so I don't know what it is called.) She liked it because it didn't stretch out too much. On the website, it suggested stretch cotton jersey (like tee shirt material) for up to 15 pounds. I decided that might be comfier for now, so I went to the fabric store and found some decent looking cotton jersey for $5 a yard. I actually only bought two yards, then after cutting it lengthwise, sewed the ends together so I had a four-yard piece. I'm pretty skinny, and 4 yards is about perfect for me, so if you aren't 110 pounds or less, I'd probably go a little bit longer.
A wrap looks complicated, but it is really super simple to make and use (I really don't sew, and you don't have to know how in order to make one.) I made mine Saturday night, and used it for the first time yesterday. I LOVE IT! Baby slept in it all three hours of church. She was centered with my body so my back and shoulders weren't tired. She was out of the way of my arms so I didn't keep hitting her (and the toddlers also weren't sitting on her head because she wasn't across my lap). She felt secure, so I didn't feel like I had to keep a hand on her at all times. I could even put some of the material behind her head to support it. I can wear a baby and do things at the same time now! I'm very excited.
So, as you may have gathered by now, I totally recommend that if you plan on babywearing, you make a wrap. It costs WAY LESS than buying one if you get your material on sale (especially if you buy half the yardage you need and sew it together - the nicest thing about that is that it is easy to find the center.) It is cheap, easy to use, versatile, comfortable, convenient, much less bulky than the other options, and when you are done with it, you can give it away or use the material to make something else!
Next: Elimination Communication
I am an eclectic diaperer. I use disposable and cloth. I have used different types of cloth diapers and covers/soakers. I started mostly cloth diapering Louie when she ran out of the millions of disposables that were given to us for her baby showers, so I never had to cloth diaper a newborn. I do have one-size-fits-all diapers, but Baby is so small that they drown her. Besides I am using them for Jack and Pie. I have felt slightly overwhelmed by all the diapers I have been going through for all three girls, and I've been trying to think of different options.
I first heard of Elimination Communication (also known as EC, infant potty training or natural infant hygiene) once Louie was either potty trained or nearly so, so I couldn't use it for her, although I thought it sounded cool. I've not had any newborns since then, and didn't realize that you could start it even with older babies, so I hadn't really considered doing it until last week when I was trying to figure out how to reduce my diaper usage. I googled Elimination Communication and watched 10 or 20 You Tube videos about it, and got all excited about trying it with Baby. I was actually in the middle of watching a video and Baby was acting squirmy (It's my cue! Should I try it?), so I decided to start right then. Wow! Within the next 12 hours, she probably went pee 10 times and poo 2 times! She stayed dry all night.
Now we don't need diapers at all! Just Kidding! Really, I'm still trying to learn her cues. I probably get about half of her eliminations, and probably misread her cues about half the time (She's whining, she probably has to go potty! Nope, I just never finished burping her.) We are probably still going through the same amount of diapers SO FAR, because I am more aware of her eliminations, and I don't want her to get used to dirty diapers, so I am changing them more often when I miss one. I haven't done the whole "leave her diaperless on a pad so you can note her elimination times" thing, just because our house is too cold. I expect that eventually we will learn each other's cues better and go through fewer diapers, but for now, her bum is lots cleaner and healthier. I'm thinking I should just buy some cheap cloth diapers on eBay. I feel like I am a lot more aware of her eliminations, so I could just have her in diapers without covers during the summer. Easier to get on and off; less waste if I miss a pee or poo. I started this last Wednesday, and she has been dry 4 out of 5 nights. I have taken her to the bathroom before bed, and because she sleeps with me I have been able to wake up and take her when she starts squirming in the middle of the night. I only have to get up once; I would rather do that than have to wake up because she is crying with a dirty diaper like I was having to do before. I actually just had to pause my blogging because I was wearing her (in my wrap) and she started fidgeting, so I took her to the bathroom and she went pee! I have had her go in the training potty, big toilet, a bowl, and the bathroom sink. So far I like the sink the best, because it is easiest for me to hold her over it. Sorry if that grosses you out.
These are my thoughts on EC for now. We'll see if I actually stick with it. Although, I don't see why I couldn't at least stick with it part time. If I am not near a bathroom, or if I am super busy, I don't have to stress about it, but if I can tell she needs to go, why not take her if I can? I am going to try to stick with it, but not let my life be completely ruled by it. I think that will be the best way to avoid getting burnt out by it. I must say, though, it is the coolest thing when she squirms, I take her to the bathroom and say "sssss" and she goes! It is pretty cool to feel like we are communicating that much. I say, anyone who is considering it should at least try it.
With Louie, I hadn't heard of the term "babywearing." I did have quite a bit of time before we got her to research different products, and I bought a Graco front carrier and a Baby Bjorn front carrier. Didn't like the Graco one; gave it away. We liked the Baby Bjorn pretty well, although my shoulders and back got tired after a while. It was pretty good for going on walks, etc., but not great for around the house, as I still felt like I needed a hand on her whenever I leaned over. It's hard to do things around the house one-handed.
We didn't have any more babies around for a while, and I started feeling like I may as well share my baby things with my sisters who were beginning their baby-bearing. Who knew if I would ever get another baby small enough for a carrier again anyway, and if I did, they could lend stuff back, right? So, my Baby Bjorn went to my sister.
A while later, I started doing foster care and got a 6 month old. My sisters didn't live very close by, and so after a certain day of carrying this baby around, I decided it would be worth it to get another Baby Bjorn NOW instead of waiting to get mine back. So I went to BabiesRUs and bought a Baby Bjorn that had back support. I liked it MUCH better, because my back didn't get so tired, but I still had the other problems.
I have only had one other baby (4 months old) since that time until now, and that only for a month, so I hadn't felt the need to expand my options. So when I got this brand new baby, it was time to babywear again. I wanted to wear her more than I had worn my other babies, because I had heard how good it was to do. Also, she liked to be held a lot, and it is not easy to hold a baby and run a house.
I tried Baby in the Baby Bjorn, and it felt like she was trying to straddle a horse. That wouldn't work! My friend had made a ring sling for my sister, who passed it on to me. I liked it much better. My shoulders and back weren't as tired (although she is much smaller than Louie and my other babies were, so that could be why). She could just lay in there and sleep (although try sitting in church with a baby laying across your lap and not have your two toddlers sit on her head! Not easy.) However, I still felt the need keep a hand on her when I leaned over, and she was always down by my elbows, so I kept bonking her when I tried to do anything. Also, I had started to hear of babies suffocating in slings, so I was a little paranoid. So, again, the sling was good for walking or sitting around, but not so great for getting things done around the house.
A girl at church had a wrap that she had her baby in, and I thought it looked really nice to use, so I talked to her about it, and she said it had been made by a friend, and gave me an idea of how to make one and how to use it. I also looked online and found a website that showed me how. My friend's wrap was made out of that fabric that is wrinkled that used to be popular for the skirts in a bag (I am totally uneducated about fabrics, so I don't know what it is called.) She liked it because it didn't stretch out too much. On the website, it suggested stretch cotton jersey (like tee shirt material) for up to 15 pounds. I decided that might be comfier for now, so I went to the fabric store and found some decent looking cotton jersey for $5 a yard. I actually only bought two yards, then after cutting it lengthwise, sewed the ends together so I had a four-yard piece. I'm pretty skinny, and 4 yards is about perfect for me, so if you aren't 110 pounds or less, I'd probably go a little bit longer.
A wrap looks complicated, but it is really super simple to make and use (I really don't sew, and you don't have to know how in order to make one.) I made mine Saturday night, and used it for the first time yesterday. I LOVE IT! Baby slept in it all three hours of church. She was centered with my body so my back and shoulders weren't tired. She was out of the way of my arms so I didn't keep hitting her (and the toddlers also weren't sitting on her head because she wasn't across my lap). She felt secure, so I didn't feel like I had to keep a hand on her at all times. I could even put some of the material behind her head to support it. I can wear a baby and do things at the same time now! I'm very excited.
So, as you may have gathered by now, I totally recommend that if you plan on babywearing, you make a wrap. It costs WAY LESS than buying one if you get your material on sale (especially if you buy half the yardage you need and sew it together - the nicest thing about that is that it is easy to find the center.) It is cheap, easy to use, versatile, comfortable, convenient, much less bulky than the other options, and when you are done with it, you can give it away or use the material to make something else!
Next: Elimination Communication
I am an eclectic diaperer. I use disposable and cloth. I have used different types of cloth diapers and covers/soakers. I started mostly cloth diapering Louie when she ran out of the millions of disposables that were given to us for her baby showers, so I never had to cloth diaper a newborn. I do have one-size-fits-all diapers, but Baby is so small that they drown her. Besides I am using them for Jack and Pie. I have felt slightly overwhelmed by all the diapers I have been going through for all three girls, and I've been trying to think of different options.
I first heard of Elimination Communication (also known as EC, infant potty training or natural infant hygiene) once Louie was either potty trained or nearly so, so I couldn't use it for her, although I thought it sounded cool. I've not had any newborns since then, and didn't realize that you could start it even with older babies, so I hadn't really considered doing it until last week when I was trying to figure out how to reduce my diaper usage. I googled Elimination Communication and watched 10 or 20 You Tube videos about it, and got all excited about trying it with Baby. I was actually in the middle of watching a video and Baby was acting squirmy (It's my cue! Should I try it?), so I decided to start right then. Wow! Within the next 12 hours, she probably went pee 10 times and poo 2 times! She stayed dry all night.
Now we don't need diapers at all! Just Kidding! Really, I'm still trying to learn her cues. I probably get about half of her eliminations, and probably misread her cues about half the time (She's whining, she probably has to go potty! Nope, I just never finished burping her.) We are probably still going through the same amount of diapers SO FAR, because I am more aware of her eliminations, and I don't want her to get used to dirty diapers, so I am changing them more often when I miss one. I haven't done the whole "leave her diaperless on a pad so you can note her elimination times" thing, just because our house is too cold. I expect that eventually we will learn each other's cues better and go through fewer diapers, but for now, her bum is lots cleaner and healthier. I'm thinking I should just buy some cheap cloth diapers on eBay. I feel like I am a lot more aware of her eliminations, so I could just have her in diapers without covers during the summer. Easier to get on and off; less waste if I miss a pee or poo. I started this last Wednesday, and she has been dry 4 out of 5 nights. I have taken her to the bathroom before bed, and because she sleeps with me I have been able to wake up and take her when she starts squirming in the middle of the night. I only have to get up once; I would rather do that than have to wake up because she is crying with a dirty diaper like I was having to do before. I actually just had to pause my blogging because I was wearing her (in my wrap) and she started fidgeting, so I took her to the bathroom and she went pee! I have had her go in the training potty, big toilet, a bowl, and the bathroom sink. So far I like the sink the best, because it is easiest for me to hold her over it. Sorry if that grosses you out.
These are my thoughts on EC for now. We'll see if I actually stick with it. Although, I don't see why I couldn't at least stick with it part time. If I am not near a bathroom, or if I am super busy, I don't have to stress about it, but if I can tell she needs to go, why not take her if I can? I am going to try to stick with it, but not let my life be completely ruled by it. I think that will be the best way to avoid getting burnt out by it. I must say, though, it is the coolest thing when she squirms, I take her to the bathroom and say "sssss" and she goes! It is pretty cool to feel like we are communicating that much. I say, anyone who is considering it should at least try it.
Friday, May 7, 2010
I did some sleuthing
So, I was eating some Dannon yogurt. Being the compulsive reader that I am, I was looking at the information on the container, and noticed that it didn't say rBGH or rBST free (I think those are the same thing - growth hormones.) So I decided to call Dannon and ask if their yogurt was rBST free. They said that as of this year, all their products ARE growth hormone-free. Then I asked if there were GM ingredients in their products. They said there could be. I asked them to note that I didn't want GM ingredients (they called them biologically enhanced or something like that that started with bio-), and that if they did use them that they should label it so.
Then I was feeding Baby her Similac Advance and didn't see anything about rBST free on that label either. So I decided to call and ask the same things. They said they could have rBST, could have GM ingredients, and that while most of their formula containers (all the powder 12.9 oz and larger for sure) are BPA free, some are not, but they should all be by 2011 (I can't remember if it was the beginning or the end of 2011). They said they do offer a Similac Organic that would be rBST, GM, pesticide, etc. free. They said it is 98% organic, so they can call it organic. I asked about the other 2%, and they said that that consisted of some of the fortifying ingredients (probably the vitamins and stuff) that were not available as organic.
I also called the company that makes Soothie Pacifiers, and they said that they were high-grade medical silicone, and therefore BPA-free. When I asked what silicone IS exactly (animal, vegetable or mineral?) they weren't sure so they Googled it and came up with the answer that it was an element. I haven't researched further yet.
All three companies were very nice and helpful. They said they would pass on my concerns. I think that obviously some concerns were being addressed (like the BPA in the Similac), others (most notably the GM) had not been brought up by enough people. It took both Dannon and Similac a while to find the answer to my question about whether their products contained genetically modified ingredients, and at Similac they said they didn't really get that many people asking about that.
One other thing I mentioned to one of the companies (can't remember if it was Dannon or Similac) was that if they were GM and growth hormone free, they could label their product as such and people would see that and be more likely to pick their company's product over competitors.
I was a little nervous about calling because I am always scared of sounding like a fool, but what I realized after the first phone call is that these companies LOVE to get feedback (obviously as long as I was not yelling at them or some such thing.) So, my thought is that if everyone would take the time to call the different companies that they patronize and ask about things like BPA, growth hormones, Genetic Engineering, pthalates, etc. it would eventually make a difference. If you want to get some ideas about different bad chemicals that are out there and where they may be a great book to check out would be Slow Death by Rubber Duck by Rick Smith and Bruce Lourie. A good synopsis of it is found on Lady Susan's blog.
Then I was feeding Baby her Similac Advance and didn't see anything about rBST free on that label either. So I decided to call and ask the same things. They said they could have rBST, could have GM ingredients, and that while most of their formula containers (all the powder 12.9 oz and larger for sure) are BPA free, some are not, but they should all be by 2011 (I can't remember if it was the beginning or the end of 2011). They said they do offer a Similac Organic that would be rBST, GM, pesticide, etc. free. They said it is 98% organic, so they can call it organic. I asked about the other 2%, and they said that that consisted of some of the fortifying ingredients (probably the vitamins and stuff) that were not available as organic.
I also called the company that makes Soothie Pacifiers, and they said that they were high-grade medical silicone, and therefore BPA-free. When I asked what silicone IS exactly (animal, vegetable or mineral?) they weren't sure so they Googled it and came up with the answer that it was an element. I haven't researched further yet.
All three companies were very nice and helpful. They said they would pass on my concerns. I think that obviously some concerns were being addressed (like the BPA in the Similac), others (most notably the GM) had not been brought up by enough people. It took both Dannon and Similac a while to find the answer to my question about whether their products contained genetically modified ingredients, and at Similac they said they didn't really get that many people asking about that.
One other thing I mentioned to one of the companies (can't remember if it was Dannon or Similac) was that if they were GM and growth hormone free, they could label their product as such and people would see that and be more likely to pick their company's product over competitors.
I was a little nervous about calling because I am always scared of sounding like a fool, but what I realized after the first phone call is that these companies LOVE to get feedback (obviously as long as I was not yelling at them or some such thing.) So, my thought is that if everyone would take the time to call the different companies that they patronize and ask about things like BPA, growth hormones, Genetic Engineering, pthalates, etc. it would eventually make a difference. If you want to get some ideas about different bad chemicals that are out there and where they may be a great book to check out would be Slow Death by Rubber Duck by Rick Smith and Bruce Lourie. A good synopsis of it is found on Lady Susan's blog.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
My Letter to My Senator
I just watched Food, Inc. a couple of nights ago, and it GROSSED ME OUT! I can't believe the garbage I eat! I don't actually eat much processed food compared to most people, so I considered that I ate fairly well. But when I think of the poor pig that gave me that disgustingly fatty bacon ($ .99 on sale!) I am sickened. I know I can do better.
I've recently started to become aware of genetically modified (GM) foods (also known as genetically engineered or GE). Considering the fact that 70-75% of processed food contains GM ingredients, you'd think that I would have been aware of it long before now. However, companies in the U.S. are not required to label GM foods. Watching Food, Inc. reminded me about why I'm starting to have a problem with that.
I had somewhat recently sent a form letter to my congressmen about labeling GM foods, and received a fairly dismissive response from one senator. (And I think I actually threw it away in disgust! Stupid me!) So, tonight I sent another form letter (via the above link), but added my own words as the first paragraph. What follows is my letter:
"In your previous response to my concerns about genetically modified foods, you stated that GM foods were considered safe, and there was already plenty of regulation; the food industry didn't need more. I feel that whether or not the government, or scientists, or anyone believes that GM foods are safe, I should have the RIGHT to make my own decision, when purchasing my family's food, about whether or not I want to buy GM foods. Labeling food with "Contains Genetically Modified Ingredients" would be no harder for a company to do than it is for them to label a food "Fat Free" or "Made with Whole Grains". The only reason I can imagine a company would oppose full disclosure would be if they feel like there is something to hide. If there is truly nothing wrong, and everything right, with GM foods, let them convince me (safety assessments by unbiased third parties would be helpful here). Once I am convinced, then I can FREELY CHOOSE to purchase those products IF THEY ARE LABELED.
"I am therefore writing to urge you to support and co-sponsor legislation to require the mandatory labeling and safety testing of genetically engineered foods. The Genetically Engineered Food Right to Know Act would require labels on gene altered food, and the Genetically Engineered Food Safety Act would call for federal standards for safety assessments of these experimental foods now in our stores. It is shocking that the FDA has never developed binding federal rules to protect consumers from the food safety risks of genetically engineered foods. Unlike crops from traditional breeding, genetically engineered crops contain antibiotic-resistant marker genes, viral promoters and foreign proteins never before consumed by humans. Yet the FDA relies on the very companies that have a financial interest in bringing these biotech crops to market to assess their safety. FDA has stated, "Ultimately, it is the food producer who is responsible for assuring safety" of gene altered foods. Congress must step up and fill the gaping regulatory hole left by the FDA to protect American consumers. The Genetically Engineered Food Safety Act would fill this hole by requiring mandatory pre-market safety testing for all GE foods. The Genetically Engineered Food Right to Know Act would require mandatory labeling of genetically engineered foods. Here in America, we pride ourselves on having choices and making informed decisions. Under current FDA regulations we don't have that choice when it comes to GE ingredients in the foods we purchase and feed our families. Labeling is essential for me to choose whether or not I want to consume genetically engineered foods. Genetically engineered foods are required to be labeled in the 15 European Union nations, Russia, Japan, China, Australia, New Zealand, and many other countries around the world. As an American, I firmly believe I should also have the right to know if my foods have been genetically engineered. If food makers like Kraft and Kellogg's can label the products they sell in these countries, they can certainly do it in the U.S. A recent poll released by ABC News found that 92 percent of the American public wants the federal government to require mandatory labeling on genetically engineered foods. As ABC News stated, "Such near-unanimity in public opinion is rare." I hope you will listen to me and the other 92 percent of the American public who want mandatory labeling and show your support for American consumers by supporting and co-sponsoring the Genetically Engineered Food Right to Know Act. I look forward to a written response confirming your support. Thank you!"
Will I change my mind about GM foods if they are shown to be safe? Probably not. I prefer my food to have the genes God intended it to have. Food has been tampered with way too much as it is. Besides, I don't think people should be able to patent raw foods and seeds. It gives them too much power. Do I expect my Senator to change his position? Not really. This particular Senator (in the last couple of years of me actually finally paying attention to politics) has a pretty bad track record as far as voting the way that I consider to be the "right way." So, I may not change his mind, but at least I can share my view. I want to be able to make a difference in a lot of ways, but since my life is not currently conducive to my being super politically involved my hope is that there will be enough people like me just doing their little part, that it will end up making the big difference I hope for. So for now, I'll sign petitions, send form letters, occasionally write my own letters or make phone calls, talk to people who are open to listening, educate myself, and teach my children. And I'll post on my blog in the hopes it helps someone else on their journey of learning and making a difference.
I've recently started to become aware of genetically modified (GM) foods (also known as genetically engineered or GE). Considering the fact that 70-75% of processed food contains GM ingredients, you'd think that I would have been aware of it long before now. However, companies in the U.S. are not required to label GM foods. Watching Food, Inc. reminded me about why I'm starting to have a problem with that.
I had somewhat recently sent a form letter to my congressmen about labeling GM foods, and received a fairly dismissive response from one senator. (And I think I actually threw it away in disgust! Stupid me!) So, tonight I sent another form letter (via the above link), but added my own words as the first paragraph. What follows is my letter:
"In your previous response to my concerns about genetically modified foods, you stated that GM foods were considered safe, and there was already plenty of regulation; the food industry didn't need more. I feel that whether or not the government, or scientists, or anyone believes that GM foods are safe, I should have the RIGHT to make my own decision, when purchasing my family's food, about whether or not I want to buy GM foods. Labeling food with "Contains Genetically Modified Ingredients" would be no harder for a company to do than it is for them to label a food "Fat Free" or "Made with Whole Grains". The only reason I can imagine a company would oppose full disclosure would be if they feel like there is something to hide. If there is truly nothing wrong, and everything right, with GM foods, let them convince me (safety assessments by unbiased third parties would be helpful here). Once I am convinced, then I can FREELY CHOOSE to purchase those products IF THEY ARE LABELED.
"I am therefore writing to urge you to support and co-sponsor legislation to require the mandatory labeling and safety testing of genetically engineered foods. The Genetically Engineered Food Right to Know Act would require labels on gene altered food, and the Genetically Engineered Food Safety Act would call for federal standards for safety assessments of these experimental foods now in our stores. It is shocking that the FDA has never developed binding federal rules to protect consumers from the food safety risks of genetically engineered foods. Unlike crops from traditional breeding, genetically engineered crops contain antibiotic-resistant marker genes, viral promoters and foreign proteins never before consumed by humans. Yet the FDA relies on the very companies that have a financial interest in bringing these biotech crops to market to assess their safety. FDA has stated, "Ultimately, it is the food producer who is responsible for assuring safety" of gene altered foods. Congress must step up and fill the gaping regulatory hole left by the FDA to protect American consumers. The Genetically Engineered Food Safety Act would fill this hole by requiring mandatory pre-market safety testing for all GE foods. The Genetically Engineered Food Right to Know Act would require mandatory labeling of genetically engineered foods. Here in America, we pride ourselves on having choices and making informed decisions. Under current FDA regulations we don't have that choice when it comes to GE ingredients in the foods we purchase and feed our families. Labeling is essential for me to choose whether or not I want to consume genetically engineered foods. Genetically engineered foods are required to be labeled in the 15 European Union nations, Russia, Japan, China, Australia, New Zealand, and many other countries around the world. As an American, I firmly believe I should also have the right to know if my foods have been genetically engineered. If food makers like Kraft and Kellogg's can label the products they sell in these countries, they can certainly do it in the U.S. A recent poll released by ABC News found that 92 percent of the American public wants the federal government to require mandatory labeling on genetically engineered foods. As ABC News stated, "Such near-unanimity in public opinion is rare." I hope you will listen to me and the other 92 percent of the American public who want mandatory labeling and show your support for American consumers by supporting and co-sponsoring the Genetically Engineered Food Right to Know Act. I look forward to a written response confirming your support. Thank you!"
Will I change my mind about GM foods if they are shown to be safe? Probably not. I prefer my food to have the genes God intended it to have. Food has been tampered with way too much as it is. Besides, I don't think people should be able to patent raw foods and seeds. It gives them too much power. Do I expect my Senator to change his position? Not really. This particular Senator (in the last couple of years of me actually finally paying attention to politics) has a pretty bad track record as far as voting the way that I consider to be the "right way." So, I may not change his mind, but at least I can share my view. I want to be able to make a difference in a lot of ways, but since my life is not currently conducive to my being super politically involved my hope is that there will be enough people like me just doing their little part, that it will end up making the big difference I hope for. So for now, I'll sign petitions, send form letters, occasionally write my own letters or make phone calls, talk to people who are open to listening, educate myself, and teach my children. And I'll post on my blog in the hopes it helps someone else on their journey of learning and making a difference.
Monday, April 5, 2010
New baby, or why I haven't posted in a while.
I have had so many things I have wanted to post about in the last few weeks, but having recently acquired a brand new baby, I have slacked on things of lesser importance, such as blogging and sleeping. Jack and Pie's bio mom had a new baby (we'll call her Baby) mid-March and I was called to pick her up on her release from the hospital. Of course I was terribly excited (I LOVE babies!), but not at all expecting it, due to the fact that she wasn't supposed to be born until sometime in April, and I had been told she wasn't coming into custody. Due to the unexpectedness of the call (I had to leave almost immediately to pick her up), I was completely unprepared. So I have spent the last couple weeks trying to arrange my life and my home to fit a new baby (and fit in all the doctors visits that I have to do when I get a new foster child into custody). Like, her stuff is all still in a bag because I haven't had a chance to arrange it yet. Anytime I need something like an outfit I am not going to my neatly organized nursery. No, I am digging through a huge bag in my closet. Hopefully I'll get to it this week. I have managed, however, to keep my home reasonably clean and my family reasonably fed.
Having a new baby isn't the only thing that has been busy the last few weeks. Louie was in her first "professional" ballet, and she had a bunch of practices and performances (and I was a parent helper). Hubby flew in for a week, and then flew out, taking Chuckles with him (and I had to drive to the airport 1 1/2 hours away each time). Jack and Pie had extra visits with bio dad (visits are 1 hour away and I have to wait 2-3 hours during the visit, because it would just be a waste of time and gas to drive home during the visit). Also, I took the girls to the Oregon Trail Museum, (very cool) which is about 1 1/2 hours away. All of these little things add up to whole days being used up. So, yes, I have felt kind of busy the last few weeks.
One thing I have done for me in the last few weeks has been to finally read the pile of books from the library that I hadn't been able to justify taking the time to read before. Baby takes a long time to eat, so I've started reading during feeding (her eyes are closed most of the time anyway) and while she is sleeping in my arms. I've read at least 8 books in the last two weeks. I read the last two books in the Looking Glass Wars trilogy (okay, but not my favorite read. It was too choppy for me, but I'm a compulsive reader. Once I start I have a hard time stopping.), Uglies by Scott Westerfeld (I enjoyed this one, and want to read the next books in the series), Shipwreck at the Bottom of the World: the extraordinary true story of Shackleton and the Endurance by Jennifer Armstrong (very interesting), Pandora gets Jealous by Carolyn Hennesy (kind of a fun way to learn about Greek mythology), Mara, daughter of the Nile by Eloise Jarvis McGraw (Louie is into anything Egyptian, so I got this hoping that she would read it. Having renewed it 2 times, I decided that I should at least read it, and after reading it asked Louie if I should just return it. She suddenly decided that she wanted to read it, and did so in two days. We both liked it.), In Defense of Food: an eater's manifesto by Michael Pollan (my favorite part is when he calls what we eat in America edible foodlike substance...so true!), and my latest, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver (good food for thought). I love to read, and I like a wide variety of books. I'm always open to recommendations. What do you think I should read next?
Having a new baby isn't the only thing that has been busy the last few weeks. Louie was in her first "professional" ballet, and she had a bunch of practices and performances (and I was a parent helper). Hubby flew in for a week, and then flew out, taking Chuckles with him (and I had to drive to the airport 1 1/2 hours away each time). Jack and Pie had extra visits with bio dad (visits are 1 hour away and I have to wait 2-3 hours during the visit, because it would just be a waste of time and gas to drive home during the visit). Also, I took the girls to the Oregon Trail Museum, (very cool) which is about 1 1/2 hours away. All of these little things add up to whole days being used up. So, yes, I have felt kind of busy the last few weeks.
One thing I have done for me in the last few weeks has been to finally read the pile of books from the library that I hadn't been able to justify taking the time to read before. Baby takes a long time to eat, so I've started reading during feeding (her eyes are closed most of the time anyway) and while she is sleeping in my arms. I've read at least 8 books in the last two weeks. I read the last two books in the Looking Glass Wars trilogy (okay, but not my favorite read. It was too choppy for me, but I'm a compulsive reader. Once I start I have a hard time stopping.), Uglies by Scott Westerfeld (I enjoyed this one, and want to read the next books in the series), Shipwreck at the Bottom of the World: the extraordinary true story of Shackleton and the Endurance by Jennifer Armstrong (very interesting), Pandora gets Jealous by Carolyn Hennesy (kind of a fun way to learn about Greek mythology), Mara, daughter of the Nile by Eloise Jarvis McGraw (Louie is into anything Egyptian, so I got this hoping that she would read it. Having renewed it 2 times, I decided that I should at least read it, and after reading it asked Louie if I should just return it. She suddenly decided that she wanted to read it, and did so in two days. We both liked it.), In Defense of Food: an eater's manifesto by Michael Pollan (my favorite part is when he calls what we eat in America edible foodlike substance...so true!), and my latest, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver (good food for thought). I love to read, and I like a wide variety of books. I'm always open to recommendations. What do you think I should read next?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
I love it when I find new things!
About a year ago, Louie suddenly started having (shh, don't tell her I told) body odor! I had heard about there being aluminum in deodorant, but I had about a 20 year supply of ArridXX that I got for a steal of a deal, so I was going to just keep using it until it ran out (or I died from too many metals in my body). But when my baby suddenly seemed to be sometimes in need of deodorant; well, there was NO WAY that I was going to let her be exposed to all that junk! So I chucked (well, donated - other people are going to buy it anyway. I may as well save them some money. Right?) my 20 year supply and bought some natural deodorants from the health food store.
Now, I'm not the stinkiest person in the world, (like, you can't smell me unless you stick your nose too close), but I definitely DO have body odor. With my Arrid, by the end of the day I kinda stunk, and with my natural deodorants, by the end of the day I kinda stunk (and really stunk by the time I got to my shower next day). Unless a shirt had a lower armpit, I couldn't wear it more than once due to the musty smell.
So, I was reading through Lady Susan's blog a few days ago and came across her recipe for deodorant. (I think it could possibly have uses on babies bums too. I wonder...) I had all the ingredients already, so I thought I would make a trial batch (since it is a 1:1:1 ratio, my trial batch included 1/2 tsp. of each ingredient.). I have a ton of arrowroot (a lot more than I have of cornstarch), baking soda and coconut oil that I had purchased through Azure Standard. I decided to go unscented for my trial batch. Why waste the essential oils?
Day 1: Yesterday. As you may have noticed from my previous blog, it was a crazy day. That being the case, I didn't get out of my shower until 2:00 (naptime!). I applied the natural deodorant mixture with my fingers (I also was too lazy to melt the oil first, so it was more "cut in" than completely mixed. I just had to mush it well to get it stick together better.) It kind of had the feel of my old ArridXX. I kept thinking I had to wash the deodorant off my hands, and then had to remind myself that I could eat this stuff if I wanted to, and I didn't have to wash it off. I could just rub it in! I smelled myself before bed. Nada. Not even the faintest musty smell.
Day 2: Today. So, I normally take a shower every day (cause I'm too stinky not to), but today I had to be somewhere early, and didn't have time to. But I wasn't stinky when I woke up, so I thought I would be okay. I didn't even wash my armpits, but I did reapply some more of my natural deodorant, to be safe. I smelled my pits throughout the day (I did perspire some, but I'm okay with that). No smell. And I just smelled myself about 1 minute ago. Nothing. I smell like me! Without any stench! I am so stinkin' excited!
Now I just need to find a deodorant container to put my homemade stuff into. Anyone have some extra Arrid containers they want to get rid of?
Now, I'm not the stinkiest person in the world, (like, you can't smell me unless you stick your nose too close), but I definitely DO have body odor. With my Arrid, by the end of the day I kinda stunk, and with my natural deodorants, by the end of the day I kinda stunk (and really stunk by the time I got to my shower next day). Unless a shirt had a lower armpit, I couldn't wear it more than once due to the musty smell.
So, I was reading through Lady Susan's blog a few days ago and came across her recipe for deodorant. (I think it could possibly have uses on babies bums too. I wonder...) I had all the ingredients already, so I thought I would make a trial batch (since it is a 1:1:1 ratio, my trial batch included 1/2 tsp. of each ingredient.). I have a ton of arrowroot (a lot more than I have of cornstarch), baking soda and coconut oil that I had purchased through Azure Standard. I decided to go unscented for my trial batch. Why waste the essential oils?
Day 1: Yesterday. As you may have noticed from my previous blog, it was a crazy day. That being the case, I didn't get out of my shower until 2:00 (naptime!). I applied the natural deodorant mixture with my fingers (I also was too lazy to melt the oil first, so it was more "cut in" than completely mixed. I just had to mush it well to get it stick together better.) It kind of had the feel of my old ArridXX. I kept thinking I had to wash the deodorant off my hands, and then had to remind myself that I could eat this stuff if I wanted to, and I didn't have to wash it off. I could just rub it in! I smelled myself before bed. Nada. Not even the faintest musty smell.
Day 2: Today. So, I normally take a shower every day (cause I'm too stinky not to), but today I had to be somewhere early, and didn't have time to. But I wasn't stinky when I woke up, so I thought I would be okay. I didn't even wash my armpits, but I did reapply some more of my natural deodorant, to be safe. I smelled my pits throughout the day (I did perspire some, but I'm okay with that). No smell. And I just smelled myself about 1 minute ago. Nothing. I smell like me! Without any stench! I am so stinkin' excited!
Now I just need to find a deodorant container to put my homemade stuff into. Anyone have some extra Arrid containers they want to get rid of?
Thursday, March 18, 2010
My family
I am a wife to a wonderful man "Hubby" who I will have been married to for 13 years next Monday. I am the mother of a fluctuating number of children. I have a 9-year-old daughter "Louie" and a 4-year-old son "Chuckles". I have also been blessed to be able to be a foster parent to 11 different children over the last five years. I currently have two amazingly gorgeous foster daughters, 2.5-year-old "Jack" and 18-month-old "Pie." (And those are really our nicknames for them!).
I love being a wife, and I love being a mom. However, loving it doesn't always make it easy. Today, for example, was crazy. My house looks like a tornado went through it. I was after Louie all day to do her chores (some left over from yesterday). Chuckles bit Louie. Chuckles hit Jack and then said that Jack hit him (not that the reason he had hit her was because she had hit him, but that she had been the only one doing the hitting. He has been blaming the babies quite a bit lately for things he has done.) Louie informed me (while crying because I told her to work on her chores) about how embarrassed she is that I am "natural, not normal!" (Why can't you be like everyone else's mom?!!!) Chuckles dumped Jack's sippy cup all over the bathroom floor. I raised my voice with Louie and our neighbor boys heard. (It's hard when you live in a duplex!) Jack soaked through at least 5 diapers and pants (She can go from dry to overflowing in less than 1 hour! She drinks a lot of water.) Pie kept climbing up on the table. NO ONE was listening to me! Everyone was crying for no good reason! I called my husband (who is currently about 26 hours away) and told him what a hard day I was having. A lady from my church called and asked how I was doing and I lied through my teeth. I was having a rotten day. It was about the closest I've ever been to breaking down and crying right in front of my kids!
Then, the kids got ready for bed. We read our scriptures (with the kids actually listening and keeping fairly quiet). The kids took turns saying their prayers and we had our family prayer. Louie and Chuckles went into their room. I put Pie down in her bed, and then stood quietly in the dark room swaying and holding Jack while she snuggled into me. There's nothing better than that. What a great day.
I love being a wife, and I love being a mom. However, loving it doesn't always make it easy. Today, for example, was crazy. My house looks like a tornado went through it. I was after Louie all day to do her chores (some left over from yesterday). Chuckles bit Louie. Chuckles hit Jack and then said that Jack hit him (not that the reason he had hit her was because she had hit him, but that she had been the only one doing the hitting. He has been blaming the babies quite a bit lately for things he has done.) Louie informed me (while crying because I told her to work on her chores) about how embarrassed she is that I am "natural, not normal!" (Why can't you be like everyone else's mom?!!!) Chuckles dumped Jack's sippy cup all over the bathroom floor. I raised my voice with Louie and our neighbor boys heard. (It's hard when you live in a duplex!) Jack soaked through at least 5 diapers and pants (She can go from dry to overflowing in less than 1 hour! She drinks a lot of water.) Pie kept climbing up on the table. NO ONE was listening to me! Everyone was crying for no good reason! I called my husband (who is currently about 26 hours away) and told him what a hard day I was having. A lady from my church called and asked how I was doing and I lied through my teeth. I was having a rotten day. It was about the closest I've ever been to breaking down and crying right in front of my kids!
Then, the kids got ready for bed. We read our scriptures (with the kids actually listening and keeping fairly quiet). The kids took turns saying their prayers and we had our family prayer. Louie and Chuckles went into their room. I put Pie down in her bed, and then stood quietly in the dark room swaying and holding Jack while she snuggled into me. There's nothing better than that. What a great day.
I have been inspired.
Having newly come to the world of blogging, I happened across this blog. Having been thoroughly entertained by Lady Susan, I decided to set off on my own writing adventure. I do not expect to be nearly as entertaining or as witty as Lady Susan, however, this adventure will give me the chance to write about many things which I want to share. I currently have another blog which is available for my family, close friends, and my children's birth families to see. However, there are certain things which I don't necessarily want to share with all of them (for example, my sometimes use of "family cloth". Of course, it is the first thing I mention here, so you can know right away what you may be getting into. I'd rather share that with complete strangers.) In this blog, I expect to write about whatever random thing I want to share at the time.
First ramble of the blog: I do not generally consider myself a writer. I actually commonly say, and feel, that I hate to write. I think that the reason for that starts back in 6th grade when I heard some girls making fun of my friend's poetry. I had been writing what I considered to be pretty good poetry, but I started to feel like maybe I couldn't write for my own enjoyment. I might be mocked! What if I used the wrong word? What if it sounded babyish? What if someone thought less of me after reading my writing?
The next time period I remember really having an impact on my like of writing (I don't know how much I ever really loved it) was during 8th grade in my English class. We had to write all sorts of stories. First, we had to do a rough draft...AND THEN HAVE OUR PEERS CRITIQUE AND PROOFREAD IT! Then a second draft...AND HAVE OUR PEERS CRITIQUE AND PROOFREAD IT! (There may have been yet another round of this humiliation.) Then a final draft, which we could turn in. Being something of a perfectionist, I would critique and correct as I wrote. There was no way that I was willing to consciously leave in misspellings or improper punctuation, etc. The final result of my refusal to let anyone see anything but my best in the first place, was a lack of the proper amount of drafts (since once I finally showed any of my writing to any of my peers, I rarely, if ever, got any corrections; how can you make more than one draft without any changes?), and therefore, a poor grade in the class. If this was what writing was, I didn't like it.
My dislike of writing caused me, at times, to make some poor choices in school. In 9th grade, I got a D- in a class because I refused to turn in the two main projects which involved writing reports (I believe they also involved other scary things like interviewing people, but that may have been a different class). I dropped out of a class mid-course during college because I was overwhelmed by the amount of writing I would have to do. It was a really interesting course too.
My fear of writing has been the main cause of my not completing my degree. Why torture myself? And forget even thinking about doing a Master's...a THESIS???!!!! Never in a million years!
Now, lest you think that my angst about writing has caused a permanent writer's block until this moment, let me put your worries to rest. I actually have written a fair amount of papers that have been required of me for various reasons. I have also semi-faithfully kept a journal. But to purposely set out to do something like, say, write a book sounds about as fun to me as walking on a bed of nails.
I give you this information, dear readers, in the hopes that you will be easy on me. Try not to make fun of me. Overlook any improper punctuation, poor grammar, misspellings, overuse of parentheses and ... (whatever those dotdotdot things are called), annoying repetition, annoying repetition, annoying repetition, um...or any other flaws in my ramblings. I say this hypocritically, because I often notice these things in other people's writings (but not on purpose!). I try really hard to see past it, though.
Having written all that, I look up and see that I can't find a spellcheck button! Also, no right-clicking on a word to see synonyms. What if I used the wrong word (is angst even the right word to put in? Is is spelled correctly?)? -(Is that where the question mark even belongs?!!!) Stress is starting to build up. I could check my dictionary and my writing guide to make sure, but do I really want to stop this before it gets off the ground? That could make this whole adventure too overwhelming. I take a deep breath and decide. I'll just write.
First ramble of the blog: I do not generally consider myself a writer. I actually commonly say, and feel, that I hate to write. I think that the reason for that starts back in 6th grade when I heard some girls making fun of my friend's poetry. I had been writing what I considered to be pretty good poetry, but I started to feel like maybe I couldn't write for my own enjoyment. I might be mocked! What if I used the wrong word? What if it sounded babyish? What if someone thought less of me after reading my writing?
The next time period I remember really having an impact on my like of writing (I don't know how much I ever really loved it) was during 8th grade in my English class. We had to write all sorts of stories. First, we had to do a rough draft...AND THEN HAVE OUR PEERS CRITIQUE AND PROOFREAD IT! Then a second draft...AND HAVE OUR PEERS CRITIQUE AND PROOFREAD IT! (There may have been yet another round of this humiliation.) Then a final draft, which we could turn in. Being something of a perfectionist, I would critique and correct as I wrote. There was no way that I was willing to consciously leave in misspellings or improper punctuation, etc. The final result of my refusal to let anyone see anything but my best in the first place, was a lack of the proper amount of drafts (since once I finally showed any of my writing to any of my peers, I rarely, if ever, got any corrections; how can you make more than one draft without any changes?), and therefore, a poor grade in the class. If this was what writing was, I didn't like it.
My dislike of writing caused me, at times, to make some poor choices in school. In 9th grade, I got a D- in a class because I refused to turn in the two main projects which involved writing reports (I believe they also involved other scary things like interviewing people, but that may have been a different class). I dropped out of a class mid-course during college because I was overwhelmed by the amount of writing I would have to do. It was a really interesting course too.
My fear of writing has been the main cause of my not completing my degree. Why torture myself? And forget even thinking about doing a Master's...a THESIS???!!!! Never in a million years!
Now, lest you think that my angst about writing has caused a permanent writer's block until this moment, let me put your worries to rest. I actually have written a fair amount of papers that have been required of me for various reasons. I have also semi-faithfully kept a journal. But to purposely set out to do something like, say, write a book sounds about as fun to me as walking on a bed of nails.
I give you this information, dear readers, in the hopes that you will be easy on me. Try not to make fun of me. Overlook any improper punctuation, poor grammar, misspellings, overuse of parentheses and ... (whatever those dotdotdot things are called), annoying repetition, annoying repetition, annoying repetition, um...or any other flaws in my ramblings. I say this hypocritically, because I often notice these things in other people's writings (but not on purpose!). I try really hard to see past it, though.
Having written all that, I look up and see that I can't find a spellcheck button! Also, no right-clicking on a word to see synonyms. What if I used the wrong word (is angst even the right word to put in? Is is spelled correctly?)? -(Is that where the question mark even belongs?!!!) Stress is starting to build up. I could check my dictionary and my writing guide to make sure, but do I really want to stop this before it gets off the ground? That could make this whole adventure too overwhelming. I take a deep breath and decide. I'll just write.
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