Wednesday, March 7, 2012
I'm back!
Wow, I haven't posted for a long time! Since my last post I have moved to a different state, added a child to my family, and gone back to school. I really want to write all about it right now, but I have two math assignments I really need to work on, so I will just leave that teaser here and try really hard to get back to posting (and fill in the details). Ciao!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Updated life update
Well, we had court. The attorneys decided there wasn't enough good evidence to terminate rights, so they are going to reunify Baby with her bio dad. So, while things could change, as of right now we aren't keeping Baby. See why I was CAUTIOUSLY super-excited? Things sometimes change hourly in the foster care business. Am I disappointed? Extremely. Surprised? Not especially. Sad? Very. Have I lost all hope? No way. Am I willing to accept whatever happens? With as much grace as I can. At the end of the day, God is in charge. Everything doesn't always work out how I think it should (lately very little has worked out how I think it should), but it always works out how God knows it should. My trials aren't nearly as bad as Job's, and he weathered his trials and was blessed in the end. I just hope I can handle my trials as well as him.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Life update
Jack and Pie went back to their bio dad the end of July. I knew a few weeks in advance that they were leaving, so I was able to go through the grieving process and get to a place of peace. I still have Baby (she has a different bio dad than Jack and Pie), so I was happily going along with my life and then bio mom got out of jail. Not a huge deal, but now I had to take Baby to visits with her. Jack and Pie also had visits with her at the same time. I hadn't seen them for three weeks, and the first visit I stayed in the visit room with them (since they all knew me, but didn't know her; it helped them to transition). Jack insisted on sitting on my lap the whole time, holding my hand and touching my face. Pie insisted on showing me how mad she was at me for abandoning her, and ignored me the whole time. So sad.
Seeing them started the grieving process all over again. Except it has taken longer than before. I get okay with things, and then see them again. Every week. It helps a little that I can see they are happy with their dad, and that they all are doing well. It also helps that their mom is not really in the picture (except these weekly visits for now), because then I know they will be really cared for and kept safe. I am starting to get to the acceptance phase of grief again. I think.
As hard as it has been for me to let them go, I wouldn't have traded the experience of being their mom. I got to have two beautiful girls in my family for almost a year. And, because I had them, I also was able to get Baby. What a blessing.
A couple of months ago, I knew that Baby was going to be going to her bio dad. I think he's a nice enough guy, but still. I've had her since she was born. She's my baby. But anyway, that's what you sign up to do as foster parents (masochistic, I know). I was preparing myself to let her go. The plan was that she would transition back to him sometime around October or November.
That has since changed. The case worker is now going to ask to terminate parental rights and change the plan to adoption. I am cautiously super-excited about the prospect of adopting Baby: super-excited because I would love nothing more than to adopt her; cautious because until the judge finalizes it, nothing is truly certain.
One more thing in addition to the whole system makes the adoption uncertain. I am moving out of state in December. You may wonder, why not just wait until everything is finalized? Long story. Sure you want to keep reading?
THE BACK STORY:
Many years ago (okay, more like 5,6,7? can't remember exactly) my husband embarked on an exciting adventure called self-employment. He had studied hard and prepared a lot so he could be a successful businessman. We also acquired some debt in order to finance many work-related things such as ongoing training and a professional office. We were not concerned though, nope. We had Savings and a Bright Future. We were going to live off of our savings until the day in the not-too-distant future when we would be Unbelievably Rich and do Good Things with our wealth. Hubby worked very hard and continued studying and got some clients. Sometimes things went well, and sometimes things fell through. But it was okay, because even though we weren't earning as much as we had expected to, we were going to keep working hard and Stick With It.
Finally after many years of Sticking With It, we had no more money. We stuck it out as long as we could, and a little longer, and then a little longer, then decided that maybe Hubby should get a job to help pay the bills while still trying to build his business. Hubby searched high and low for any job that wasn't McDonald's (he is, by the way, a very hard-working, honest, friendly, intelligent, and handsome man. He is also very much a "people person" and interviews very well.) So imagine our surprise when many months went by with no job offers except as a telemarketer. Grateful for anything, he accepted and began working at his New Employment where he was loved and appreciated by the managers. A little while later, he was also hired on at a medical equipment factory where he got to finally put all his skills and education to use making... plastic bags.
This Terribly Exciting work was better than nothing, but we were still not making enough to cover the bills every month without digging into our credit. Our savings was long gone, and we had been living off our home equity. Our business debt was on a SBA loan and a few credit cards. Through all the years, we had been faithfully paying all of our bills, and on time, but for some reason the credit card companies upped our APR and our minimum payments significantly. This was the reason we were sliding deeper into debt. We would have made enough to at least get by month to month if our payments hadn't skyrocketed. (Our debt really was mostly business debt and a small mortgage. We were very frugal with our personal finances. We even moved out of our home and rented it out -it wasn't selling- and rented a dumpy duplex to cut costs.)
Hubby's job obviously was not enough, so he continued to look for other options. He tried a MLM and a couple other sales jobs too. We finally decided to kill his business, and closed down his office. Then Hubby got hired on at a new start-up company with promise of a great salary and commissions. We could also move to another state near my parents and siblings.
Just before getting hired to this new job, we had Jack and Pie placed with us. Hubby trained for his new job for a few months while living here, and then, in January of this year, he moved to the other state to start his job. I stayed behind in the hopes that everything would soon be resolved with Jack and Pie. If they were to become available for adoption, we wanted to have the option to do that. Even if not, we didn't want to just pass them on to someone else. Also, we were now waiting for our house to sell. I was going to stick it out here for a few months while Hubby got his work stuff going there and figured out where we were going to live.
A couple of months later, Baby came. It sounded pretty certain that she was going to be almost immediately available to be adopted, so we certainly didn't want to pass that up. Especially because it looked possible that we would be able to adopt Jack and Pie, but it could still be a little longer.
Hubby's new job was with a great company, but they weren't growing as quickly as they had hoped. They decided not to do salaries anymore. Commissions were not very high, and although they had a great product, the technology was new enough that it was not an easy sell. Hubby was the top salesman, but we were still not making enough to get by, so he started looking for yet another job.
I am happy to say that he did get a new job. At a BANK. With a SALARY. In the Other State. In June. We also finally decided, very reluctantly, to declare bankruptcy, because even with the salary it wouldn't have been enough to cover the debt. So now I don't have to remind myself to breathe when I think about money. I can actually buy food instead of just living off our food storage and our garden. It is wonderful. However, I am still here, and he is still there.
So, for the reason I am not waiting to move: After being apart for nearly a year, Hubby and I have decided that we need to stop waiting for the courts. It could keep dragging out (this latest court has already been postponed twice). My son was in foster care for 22 months before we were finally able to adopt him. And we can't keep our family apart indefinitely any longer. So we set a date, bought Hubby a plane ticket, and reserved a rental truck. We will be here one more month and then we are moving. It is possible that everything could be resolved with Baby by December and we can adopt her then. IF both parents voluntarily relinquish their rights when we go to court next week. If not, we will have to wait for a pretrial, then a termination hearing and then after an appeal period an adoption hearing (should it actually go in that direction.) So, we are praying for parents to relinquish, because otherwise we would have to leave Baby with another foster family, and hope it doesn't drag out so long that she is more bonded to them than to us so they get to adopt her instead. It completely breaks my heart to think of leaving her. I mean, I don't really cry that much in general, but I cry plenty over her. However, as much I am willing to stay here, my husband needs us and we need him, and I have to go.
And that is my really long sob story (and happy story too, because we do get to be with my husband again AND move out of the cold place where winters are long, to the warm place where winters are mild).
not really THE END (especially the way the court system goes 'round here)
Seeing them started the grieving process all over again. Except it has taken longer than before. I get okay with things, and then see them again. Every week. It helps a little that I can see they are happy with their dad, and that they all are doing well. It also helps that their mom is not really in the picture (except these weekly visits for now), because then I know they will be really cared for and kept safe. I am starting to get to the acceptance phase of grief again. I think.
As hard as it has been for me to let them go, I wouldn't have traded the experience of being their mom. I got to have two beautiful girls in my family for almost a year. And, because I had them, I also was able to get Baby. What a blessing.
A couple of months ago, I knew that Baby was going to be going to her bio dad. I think he's a nice enough guy, but still. I've had her since she was born. She's my baby. But anyway, that's what you sign up to do as foster parents (masochistic, I know). I was preparing myself to let her go. The plan was that she would transition back to him sometime around October or November.
That has since changed. The case worker is now going to ask to terminate parental rights and change the plan to adoption. I am cautiously super-excited about the prospect of adopting Baby: super-excited because I would love nothing more than to adopt her; cautious because until the judge finalizes it, nothing is truly certain.
One more thing in addition to the whole system makes the adoption uncertain. I am moving out of state in December. You may wonder, why not just wait until everything is finalized? Long story. Sure you want to keep reading?
THE BACK STORY:
Many years ago (okay, more like 5,6,7? can't remember exactly) my husband embarked on an exciting adventure called self-employment. He had studied hard and prepared a lot so he could be a successful businessman. We also acquired some debt in order to finance many work-related things such as ongoing training and a professional office. We were not concerned though, nope. We had Savings and a Bright Future. We were going to live off of our savings until the day in the not-too-distant future when we would be Unbelievably Rich and do Good Things with our wealth. Hubby worked very hard and continued studying and got some clients. Sometimes things went well, and sometimes things fell through. But it was okay, because even though we weren't earning as much as we had expected to, we were going to keep working hard and Stick With It.
Finally after many years of Sticking With It, we had no more money. We stuck it out as long as we could, and a little longer, and then a little longer, then decided that maybe Hubby should get a job to help pay the bills while still trying to build his business. Hubby searched high and low for any job that wasn't McDonald's (he is, by the way, a very hard-working, honest, friendly, intelligent, and handsome man. He is also very much a "people person" and interviews very well.) So imagine our surprise when many months went by with no job offers except as a telemarketer. Grateful for anything, he accepted and began working at his New Employment where he was loved and appreciated by the managers. A little while later, he was also hired on at a medical equipment factory where he got to finally put all his skills and education to use making... plastic bags.
This Terribly Exciting work was better than nothing, but we were still not making enough to cover the bills every month without digging into our credit. Our savings was long gone, and we had been living off our home equity. Our business debt was on a SBA loan and a few credit cards. Through all the years, we had been faithfully paying all of our bills, and on time, but for some reason the credit card companies upped our APR and our minimum payments significantly. This was the reason we were sliding deeper into debt. We would have made enough to at least get by month to month if our payments hadn't skyrocketed. (Our debt really was mostly business debt and a small mortgage. We were very frugal with our personal finances. We even moved out of our home and rented it out -it wasn't selling- and rented a dumpy duplex to cut costs.)
Hubby's job obviously was not enough, so he continued to look for other options. He tried a MLM and a couple other sales jobs too. We finally decided to kill his business, and closed down his office. Then Hubby got hired on at a new start-up company with promise of a great salary and commissions. We could also move to another state near my parents and siblings.
Just before getting hired to this new job, we had Jack and Pie placed with us. Hubby trained for his new job for a few months while living here, and then, in January of this year, he moved to the other state to start his job. I stayed behind in the hopes that everything would soon be resolved with Jack and Pie. If they were to become available for adoption, we wanted to have the option to do that. Even if not, we didn't want to just pass them on to someone else. Also, we were now waiting for our house to sell. I was going to stick it out here for a few months while Hubby got his work stuff going there and figured out where we were going to live.
A couple of months later, Baby came. It sounded pretty certain that she was going to be almost immediately available to be adopted, so we certainly didn't want to pass that up. Especially because it looked possible that we would be able to adopt Jack and Pie, but it could still be a little longer.
Hubby's new job was with a great company, but they weren't growing as quickly as they had hoped. They decided not to do salaries anymore. Commissions were not very high, and although they had a great product, the technology was new enough that it was not an easy sell. Hubby was the top salesman, but we were still not making enough to get by, so he started looking for yet another job.
I am happy to say that he did get a new job. At a BANK. With a SALARY. In the Other State. In June. We also finally decided, very reluctantly, to declare bankruptcy, because even with the salary it wouldn't have been enough to cover the debt. So now I don't have to remind myself to breathe when I think about money. I can actually buy food instead of just living off our food storage and our garden. It is wonderful. However, I am still here, and he is still there.
So, for the reason I am not waiting to move: After being apart for nearly a year, Hubby and I have decided that we need to stop waiting for the courts. It could keep dragging out (this latest court has already been postponed twice). My son was in foster care for 22 months before we were finally able to adopt him. And we can't keep our family apart indefinitely any longer. So we set a date, bought Hubby a plane ticket, and reserved a rental truck. We will be here one more month and then we are moving. It is possible that everything could be resolved with Baby by December and we can adopt her then. IF both parents voluntarily relinquish their rights when we go to court next week. If not, we will have to wait for a pretrial, then a termination hearing and then after an appeal period an adoption hearing (should it actually go in that direction.) So, we are praying for parents to relinquish, because otherwise we would have to leave Baby with another foster family, and hope it doesn't drag out so long that she is more bonded to them than to us so they get to adopt her instead. It completely breaks my heart to think of leaving her. I mean, I don't really cry that much in general, but I cry plenty over her. However, as much I am willing to stay here, my husband needs us and we need him, and I have to go.
And that is my really long sob story (and happy story too, because we do get to be with my husband again AND move out of the cold place where winters are long, to the warm place where winters are mild).
not really THE END (especially the way the court system goes 'round here)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Free Markets: Good or Evil?
I used to think that things were black and white as follows: communism/socialism is evil, capitalism/free markets are good. I still think communism/socialism is evil, although I can see what appeals to people about them, and why good people are attracted to them (Read Wild Swans by Jung Chang for some good food for thought on that one). I'm just not so sure that capitalism/free markets (will refer to as "free markets" in the future) as they are known today are so great.
Let me clarify. I think that if people have high moral values, pure, unregulated free markets work wonderfully. It is just like this quote on government by James Madison, "What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary." If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on businesses would be necessary; however greed and powerlust come into play. The almighty dollar (really funny money anyway; why does it have such a hold on us?) comes before our fellow-man, preserving beauty, quality in craftsmanship, creating true value, being wise stewards. When we care more about making money than about these things, that is when free markets start to lose their appeal.
I've read lots of books that have influenced my thinking about these matters. Henry Hazlitt, Frederic Bastiat and Ludwig von Mises are some of the great writers who have helped me see the wonders and benefits of free markets. But I've also seen documentaries and read some books, Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein being one of them, that have helped me to see that when a business gets too big, and gets too much power, there can be huge problems with that. Read the book and watch some of my recommended documentaries, and you might see what I mean.
HOWEVER, I don't really believe that when a business gets that big with that much power (so much influence on foreign and domestic policy, for example) that they are working within a TRUE free market, because they now have powerful interests watching their backs and hampering the competition. Therefore, I believe those particular businesses or industries need to be reigned in. But I don't think that they will be reigned in by the powers-that-be, because the powers-that-be have too much of a vested interest in the industries.
I have always, in the past, been against regulations and rules. There are way too many of them. Read The Death of Common Sense: How Law is Suffocating America by Phillip K. Howard for an interesting read about that. I think that The Death of Common Sense is an appropriate title for our time. We have too many prohibitive rules that make it hard for the little guy, and we let the businesses that profit from warmongering, polluting, and generally causing grief and suffering slip through the loopholes.
What can we do? Obviously most of these businesses won't self-regulate, and our elected (and unelected) officials aren't stopping things. So it is up to us, the little people, to educate ourselves, make more conscientious choices about who we elect and who we support, and speak up without being ashamed. I know, easier said than done. We need to be open to learning the truth, wherever it comes from. Black and white really have many shades, and just because I believe A and you believe B doesn't mean I am all right and all good, and you are all wrong and all bad. Yes, there are absolute truths. But not everything has only one answer.
Summary to all this rambling: If men were angels, free (unregulated) markets would work the best. Because men are not all angels, some (not ridiculous and excessive) regulation is necessary. Also, the little people need to do what we can. Working together, we can make changes.
Other summary to all this rambling: We need to start seeing where we agree, and work from there. Be open to seeing why someone has the viewpoint that they do. This was brought home to me last night when I was watching Why we Fight. In the special features, the director talks about how he had been in red states and blue states (showing his movie), and then interrupted himself to talk about how red and blue are just a way to divide us; how our country is really more purple. If we can be kept focusing on our differences, then we are distracted from working together on important things.
One other somewhat related thought. When you read these books, or watch these movies, you may despair, thinking there is no hope; there is too much corruption, everyone is bad. I think it is the opposite. I think there is a lot of corruption and evil, but I think most people are basically good. Not perfect, but most want to do good things. I think we all contribute in some way to the bad that is going on; not through evil intent, but through ignorance. The more aware we are, the more we are able to fight the evil. It is not a hopeless fight, because if most of us want to do good, then we will do good once we are aware. So we need to spread awareness. Not in a militant way, but in a loving way. My journey to the awareness I have come to has not happened all at once. Just ten years ago I would have ardently opposed some of my current views, but most of my current views are about things I was generally ignorant of even ten years ago (what will the next ten years bring? What an exciting thought!). You never know who is ready to be open to learning more (or when...sometimes it is years after something is suggested to me before I am ready to dig into it), so educate yourself, and take other people along for the ride. And remember, it is a ride. We don't ARRIVE all at once. We just reach scenic views along the way. Enjoy!
Let me clarify. I think that if people have high moral values, pure, unregulated free markets work wonderfully. It is just like this quote on government by James Madison, "What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary." If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on businesses would be necessary; however greed and powerlust come into play. The almighty dollar (really funny money anyway; why does it have such a hold on us?) comes before our fellow-man, preserving beauty, quality in craftsmanship, creating true value, being wise stewards. When we care more about making money than about these things, that is when free markets start to lose their appeal.
I've read lots of books that have influenced my thinking about these matters. Henry Hazlitt, Frederic Bastiat and Ludwig von Mises are some of the great writers who have helped me see the wonders and benefits of free markets. But I've also seen documentaries and read some books, Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein being one of them, that have helped me to see that when a business gets too big, and gets too much power, there can be huge problems with that. Read the book and watch some of my recommended documentaries, and you might see what I mean.
HOWEVER, I don't really believe that when a business gets that big with that much power (so much influence on foreign and domestic policy, for example) that they are working within a TRUE free market, because they now have powerful interests watching their backs and hampering the competition. Therefore, I believe those particular businesses or industries need to be reigned in. But I don't think that they will be reigned in by the powers-that-be, because the powers-that-be have too much of a vested interest in the industries.
I have always, in the past, been against regulations and rules. There are way too many of them. Read The Death of Common Sense: How Law is Suffocating America by Phillip K. Howard for an interesting read about that. I think that The Death of Common Sense is an appropriate title for our time. We have too many prohibitive rules that make it hard for the little guy, and we let the businesses that profit from warmongering, polluting, and generally causing grief and suffering slip through the loopholes.
What can we do? Obviously most of these businesses won't self-regulate, and our elected (and unelected) officials aren't stopping things. So it is up to us, the little people, to educate ourselves, make more conscientious choices about who we elect and who we support, and speak up without being ashamed. I know, easier said than done. We need to be open to learning the truth, wherever it comes from. Black and white really have many shades, and just because I believe A and you believe B doesn't mean I am all right and all good, and you are all wrong and all bad. Yes, there are absolute truths. But not everything has only one answer.
Summary to all this rambling: If men were angels, free (unregulated) markets would work the best. Because men are not all angels, some (not ridiculous and excessive) regulation is necessary. Also, the little people need to do what we can. Working together, we can make changes.
Other summary to all this rambling: We need to start seeing where we agree, and work from there. Be open to seeing why someone has the viewpoint that they do. This was brought home to me last night when I was watching Why we Fight. In the special features, the director talks about how he had been in red states and blue states (showing his movie), and then interrupted himself to talk about how red and blue are just a way to divide us; how our country is really more purple. If we can be kept focusing on our differences, then we are distracted from working together on important things.
One other somewhat related thought. When you read these books, or watch these movies, you may despair, thinking there is no hope; there is too much corruption, everyone is bad. I think it is the opposite. I think there is a lot of corruption and evil, but I think most people are basically good. Not perfect, but most want to do good things. I think we all contribute in some way to the bad that is going on; not through evil intent, but through ignorance. The more aware we are, the more we are able to fight the evil. It is not a hopeless fight, because if most of us want to do good, then we will do good once we are aware. So we need to spread awareness. Not in a militant way, but in a loving way. My journey to the awareness I have come to has not happened all at once. Just ten years ago I would have ardently opposed some of my current views, but most of my current views are about things I was generally ignorant of even ten years ago (what will the next ten years bring? What an exciting thought!). You never know who is ready to be open to learning more (or when...sometimes it is years after something is suggested to me before I am ready to dig into it), so educate yourself, and take other people along for the ride. And remember, it is a ride. We don't ARRIVE all at once. We just reach scenic views along the way. Enjoy!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Books about Tudors
So, I read The Other Boleyn Girl on an acquaintance's recommendation. I am the type of person who can hardly put a book down once I have started it. I was fascinated by the story and I would have given it a glowing recommendation, but there was way too much adult-type content, which I really don't appreciate. So, I would tell other people to not read it.
Rather, I would recommend reading Carolyn Meyer's books: Doomed Queen Anne, Mary, Bloody Mary, and Beware, Princess Elizabeth. They are much, much milder. I wouldn't have very young children read them though, unless you are prepared to have discussions about illegitimacy, mistresses, divorce, murder, affairs, executions, etc. Not the friendliest of topics. There is also some language (mostly related to mistresses and illegitimate children). Although, if you have a child that is older, there could be some very good discussions about choices and consequences, love and marriage, desire for power, etc.
So, because I read The Other Boleyn Girl, it got me interested in learning more about that period of history. So I read the Carolyn Meyer books, and I am planning on reading the Shakespeare play about King Henry VIII (I think there is one?), and whatever else I can find. We'll see how it goes.
Rather, I would recommend reading Carolyn Meyer's books: Doomed Queen Anne, Mary, Bloody Mary, and Beware, Princess Elizabeth. They are much, much milder. I wouldn't have very young children read them though, unless you are prepared to have discussions about illegitimacy, mistresses, divorce, murder, affairs, executions, etc. Not the friendliest of topics. There is also some language (mostly related to mistresses and illegitimate children). Although, if you have a child that is older, there could be some very good discussions about choices and consequences, love and marriage, desire for power, etc.
So, because I read The Other Boleyn Girl, it got me interested in learning more about that period of history. So I read the Carolyn Meyer books, and I am planning on reading the Shakespeare play about King Henry VIII (I think there is one?), and whatever else I can find. We'll see how it goes.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Diapering and Elimination Communication
I thought I would give an update on how EC is going for me so far. I have found that unless I am super vigilant I still miss a bunch of pees. Some days I do better than others. I've had days of only getting a couple of pees (those are usually the days that I am not holding her as much or paying as much attention). I've had days of catching 90% of her pee. I have found that when I take her to pee, if she doesn't go within a minute or two, she is usually not ready. That's nice to know so I don't waste a lot of time trying to catch it. She will often pee right after I cue her. I still go through a lot of diapers; mostly because I am more aware of when she is wet (because I take her to the bathroom and she is already wet - sometimes she will still go again.) The thing I am most excited about is that I have caught (when I say caught, I mean "cued her and she went in the toilet") all but two poos! Only two poopy diapers in this whole time (threeish weeks)! It is worth doing it for that right there. Usually if she is acting fussy and I can't figure out why, she has some poo that needs to come out. Sometimes it takes a few tries before she is ready to get it out, but it generally fixes the fussiness. I really feel that she prefers eliminating outside of her diaper. Sometimes she has to squirm for a while before I clue in, and then as soon as I give her the cue she lets a ton out. Check out this site about EC.
Now, because I am still going through quite a few diapers, I wanted to get some cloth that would fit her. I don't like the expense, waste, or possible health issues arising from using disposables. Like I mentioned earlier, I have some diapers - even one-size-fits-all diapers, but on Baby's 7 lb 10 oz frame, they are just too huge. I wanted something that would work for her now; but since I don't know how long she'll be this little, and I don't know whether or not I'll ever have other babies this size, I didn't want to spend too much money.
Options for covers:
1. Vinyl. Yes, you can still buy these. They aren't really breathable. You also have to pull them on and off, which can be a pain sometimes. I think there are better options out there.
2. Wool soakers. Sometimes called "longies" for pant length or "shorties" for regular diaper cover length. When you see the "rise" measurement, that should be the measurement from the top of the front, under the crotch, and up to the top of the back. If the rise is too low it won't cover the diaper. I have tried a few different wool soakers, and so far (in general) I like the ones that are more expensive over the hand knitted ones (although I do like to use those too, they just don't work as well for heavy wetters). The expensive ones seem to be felted and thicker, which would make them more absorbent. I like to use my "longies" as pants (pajama or daytime) on top of all my other diaper stuff as an added layer of protection. My two biggest issues with wool are that 1) they take forever to dry (of course, that means they are absorbent, but I couldn't just get by with a couple)! and 2) they seem to have a stinky woolly odor when they get wet (maybe it's something I'm doing wrong?). Also, they can leak...even the heavy duty ones. You also have to lanolinize them and you are supposed to hand wash them (although I admit to throwing them in the washer on a gentle cycle from time to time.)
3. Polyurethane laminate a.k.a. PUL. This is a waterproof material that is usually on the inside of a cover or sandwiched in the middle of other fabrics, usually some sort of polyester. There are a ton of different brands out there that make PUL covers. I have used Mother-ease (which I loved and thought they were the best, but then I started getting some leaking from the seams - of course that is after using them for 9+ years :)) I still use them for Jack and Pie, and I am still pretty happy with them. I have not had any "blow out" problems with my Mother-ease. For Baby I decided to try Bummis Super Snap. I've been reading so many good reviews about Bummis products, and I thought that this may be my only excuse to try one. I should have bought a newborn size, but being the frugal person I am, I figured Baby is so close to fitting in a small, that I would make do with that. It fits great around her waist, but the leg openings are a little big for her. I only bought one, and that has been enough for now, but if I buy another one, I'll probably try getting a newborn size. Although, with my doing EC, too big of leg openings shouldn't be much of a problem. I was even considering not getting a cover so I could be even more aware of when Baby wets, but then I decided to do prefolds so I kinda needed a cover.
Covers can come in three types: pull on, hook and loop (also known as velcro or aplix), or snap. Here is my opinion on the three.
Pull on: The biggest advantage is that you don't have to worry about snaps or velcro digging into baby. Wool covers are usually pretty nice for this reason. However, you can't adjust the openings. Of course the other types may not adjust big enough or small enough either, but there is usually some room for adjustment. My biggest problem with pull on covers is that when you try to pull it off, sometimes the diaper comes with it. If there is poop in there, that could be a problem. Also, if you need to change the cover for some reason, you can't just lower the pants and whip it off. If the child is wearing pants and shoes you have to take it all off.
Hook and Loop: The plus side is that they are easy to put on, so if you are half asleep and it is dark, it is not a struggle. They are also usually pretty adjustable. The disadvantages outweigh the advantages, in my opinion. Velcro can wear out (I have some diapers that will hardly stay on anymore because the velcro won't hold), it can scratch baby's skin (some covers are better than others about how they put on their velcro, but I had one velcro cover... can't remember the brand... with Louie that had a sharpish edge and a big tab that rubbed all over her poor fat belly.), and even with the washing tabs to keep velcro secured during washing, can snag (which seems to wear the diapers out faster). It is a pain to have to be picking lint and strings and hairs out of the velcro.
Snaps: They aren't as fast to slap on as velcro (and I guess if you want to adjust it to something between the snaps you are out of luck). If you have it on too tight, the snaps could dig into baby's skin. Snap covers are usually pretty adjustable, pretty sturdy, you don't have as many seams to worry about moisture wicking, and you don't have the disadvantages of velcro. If I had to choose only one of the three, snaps would be it. Velcro would be out.
One thing that it took me a while to figure out is that any cover WILL leak if you have the diaper poking out of it at all. I know, duh!
Okay, it's super late. I'll finish the thoughts on diapers at a later time.
Now, because I am still going through quite a few diapers, I wanted to get some cloth that would fit her. I don't like the expense, waste, or possible health issues arising from using disposables. Like I mentioned earlier, I have some diapers - even one-size-fits-all diapers, but on Baby's 7 lb 10 oz frame, they are just too huge. I wanted something that would work for her now; but since I don't know how long she'll be this little, and I don't know whether or not I'll ever have other babies this size, I didn't want to spend too much money.
Options for covers:
1. Vinyl. Yes, you can still buy these. They aren't really breathable. You also have to pull them on and off, which can be a pain sometimes. I think there are better options out there.
2. Wool soakers. Sometimes called "longies" for pant length or "shorties" for regular diaper cover length. When you see the "rise" measurement, that should be the measurement from the top of the front, under the crotch, and up to the top of the back. If the rise is too low it won't cover the diaper. I have tried a few different wool soakers, and so far (in general) I like the ones that are more expensive over the hand knitted ones (although I do like to use those too, they just don't work as well for heavy wetters). The expensive ones seem to be felted and thicker, which would make them more absorbent. I like to use my "longies" as pants (pajama or daytime) on top of all my other diaper stuff as an added layer of protection. My two biggest issues with wool are that 1) they take forever to dry (of course, that means they are absorbent, but I couldn't just get by with a couple)! and 2) they seem to have a stinky woolly odor when they get wet (maybe it's something I'm doing wrong?). Also, they can leak...even the heavy duty ones. You also have to lanolinize them and you are supposed to hand wash them (although I admit to throwing them in the washer on a gentle cycle from time to time.)
3. Polyurethane laminate a.k.a. PUL. This is a waterproof material that is usually on the inside of a cover or sandwiched in the middle of other fabrics, usually some sort of polyester. There are a ton of different brands out there that make PUL covers. I have used Mother-ease (which I loved and thought they were the best, but then I started getting some leaking from the seams - of course that is after using them for 9+ years :)) I still use them for Jack and Pie, and I am still pretty happy with them. I have not had any "blow out" problems with my Mother-ease. For Baby I decided to try Bummis Super Snap. I've been reading so many good reviews about Bummis products, and I thought that this may be my only excuse to try one. I should have bought a newborn size, but being the frugal person I am, I figured Baby is so close to fitting in a small, that I would make do with that. It fits great around her waist, but the leg openings are a little big for her. I only bought one, and that has been enough for now, but if I buy another one, I'll probably try getting a newborn size. Although, with my doing EC, too big of leg openings shouldn't be much of a problem. I was even considering not getting a cover so I could be even more aware of when Baby wets, but then I decided to do prefolds so I kinda needed a cover.
Covers can come in three types: pull on, hook and loop (also known as velcro or aplix), or snap. Here is my opinion on the three.
Pull on: The biggest advantage is that you don't have to worry about snaps or velcro digging into baby. Wool covers are usually pretty nice for this reason. However, you can't adjust the openings. Of course the other types may not adjust big enough or small enough either, but there is usually some room for adjustment. My biggest problem with pull on covers is that when you try to pull it off, sometimes the diaper comes with it. If there is poop in there, that could be a problem. Also, if you need to change the cover for some reason, you can't just lower the pants and whip it off. If the child is wearing pants and shoes you have to take it all off.
Hook and Loop: The plus side is that they are easy to put on, so if you are half asleep and it is dark, it is not a struggle. They are also usually pretty adjustable. The disadvantages outweigh the advantages, in my opinion. Velcro can wear out (I have some diapers that will hardly stay on anymore because the velcro won't hold), it can scratch baby's skin (some covers are better than others about how they put on their velcro, but I had one velcro cover... can't remember the brand... with Louie that had a sharpish edge and a big tab that rubbed all over her poor fat belly.), and even with the washing tabs to keep velcro secured during washing, can snag (which seems to wear the diapers out faster). It is a pain to have to be picking lint and strings and hairs out of the velcro.
Snaps: They aren't as fast to slap on as velcro (and I guess if you want to adjust it to something between the snaps you are out of luck). If you have it on too tight, the snaps could dig into baby's skin. Snap covers are usually pretty adjustable, pretty sturdy, you don't have as many seams to worry about moisture wicking, and you don't have the disadvantages of velcro. If I had to choose only one of the three, snaps would be it. Velcro would be out.
One thing that it took me a while to figure out is that any cover WILL leak if you have the diaper poking out of it at all. I know, duh!
Okay, it's super late. I'll finish the thoughts on diapers at a later time.
Friday, May 14, 2010
I guess I'm not the only one...
...who thought my Senator has done some super dumb voting. I think it is interesting how he seems to think that he was ousted just because the people were "mad at Washington." (How arrogant! We couldn't possibly have been making an educated decision?) I am frustrated with Washington in general, however I am also frustrated with this particular Senator (both of my senators, actually). I wouldn't vote against my current Representative because I have been pleased with his voting most of the time.
I may not understand everything, and I may not be completely informed about every current event. I even have quite a few areas where I don't feel as though I have enough information to form an opinion. But I have been trying to study economics and government (and nutrition and education and...) for the last few years (in my spare time or in the late hours of the night). I have been trying to read a variety of both classic and modern writers and even some writings I disagreed with (i.e. The Communist Manifesto, which I found to be very interesting, by the way.) So, although I don't understand every issue, I feel like I am well enough informed about various principles that I can understand generally where we should be heading and what kinds of laws get us there, and what kinds of laws move us in the other direction.
That is why I am glad to have this Senator out. He has not been voting in a way that I believe will lead our country in a good direction. He may be a very nice guy in his private life. He may even be nice in his public life. But he is not good for our country. Way to go, Utah! Hopefully we make a good decision in our next pick. In my *very limited* study of the Republican candidates so far, I think I like Mike Lee. He sounds like he is very familiar and friendly with the Constitution. I haven't taken the time to study the candidates from the other parties yet.
Obviously I am a Utah Republican, right? Well, sort of. My parents were registered as Republicans and so I did the same when I was old enough to register. I am still registered as a Republican, but mostly so I can have a say in the Primaries (since in Utah, the Republican candidate will win). Yes, I am a Mormon. NO WAY did I vote for Mitt Romney. I actually voted for Ron Paul in the Primaries and then the Constitution Party candidate in the General Election. I have even actually been known to vote for a Democrat in my time (I'm happy to vote on the person who I feel is best for the job rather than just straight any party.). I like what Joel Salatin calls himself in his book Holy Cows and Hog Heaven: the food buyers guide to farm friendly food. He calls himself a Christian libertarian environmentalist capitalist. I would add Constitutionalist to my title and would feel like that sums it up nicely.
END POLITICAL RANT. DIM LIGHTS.
I may not understand everything, and I may not be completely informed about every current event. I even have quite a few areas where I don't feel as though I have enough information to form an opinion. But I have been trying to study economics and government (and nutrition and education and...) for the last few years (in my spare time or in the late hours of the night). I have been trying to read a variety of both classic and modern writers and even some writings I disagreed with (i.e. The Communist Manifesto, which I found to be very interesting, by the way.) So, although I don't understand every issue, I feel like I am well enough informed about various principles that I can understand generally where we should be heading and what kinds of laws get us there, and what kinds of laws move us in the other direction.
That is why I am glad to have this Senator out. He has not been voting in a way that I believe will lead our country in a good direction. He may be a very nice guy in his private life. He may even be nice in his public life. But he is not good for our country. Way to go, Utah! Hopefully we make a good decision in our next pick. In my *very limited* study of the Republican candidates so far, I think I like Mike Lee. He sounds like he is very familiar and friendly with the Constitution. I haven't taken the time to study the candidates from the other parties yet.
Obviously I am a Utah Republican, right? Well, sort of. My parents were registered as Republicans and so I did the same when I was old enough to register. I am still registered as a Republican, but mostly so I can have a say in the Primaries (since in Utah, the Republican candidate will win). Yes, I am a Mormon. NO WAY did I vote for Mitt Romney. I actually voted for Ron Paul in the Primaries and then the Constitution Party candidate in the General Election. I have even actually been known to vote for a Democrat in my time (I'm happy to vote on the person who I feel is best for the job rather than just straight any party.). I like what Joel Salatin calls himself in his book Holy Cows and Hog Heaven: the food buyers guide to farm friendly food. He calls himself a Christian libertarian environmentalist capitalist. I would add Constitutionalist to my title and would feel like that sums it up nicely.
END POLITICAL RANT. DIM LIGHTS.
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